Tidbits of Jeanette.

We're back.

2008-05-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

I just get up from bed.. hehehe. we reached KL about 6.30 am this morning and damn all the grandmas from Jakarta who sat behind us. They didn't let us lean back the seats. WHAt!

A good friend is coming to stay for 1 month starting tomorrow. I will keep it as a surprise until she arrives. :D

Meanwhile, I'm down with sore throat :( And I miss my second kid more than anything else.. oh kiddo..

What to do today?
- Execute the damned major project for CAD Practice
- Clean up house for guest

22 today.

2008-04-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Received surprise from all the good friends. Thanks guys. Thanks for the effort of going to the hypermarket to grocery shop, bring them back home to cook, the effort to buy me my fave tiramisu cake, the effort to carry home the superheavy corn (i'm not that fetish of a corn like fajar said, okay!), and whatnots. Thanks! :)

Thanks for the call made far away from Medan by my bestfriend, Ida. Thanks for the 00.00 sms far from Brisbane by my closefriend, Ferycia. Thanks for the gift, Silvia. Thanks for the Portfolio Night ticket, ko Iyang. Thanks for the early birthday wish, Brian. Thanks for the wishes through MSN and SMS, by Chen, Veri, Cres. Hahaha!

Seriously the number 22 makes me shatter. 20 + 2, oh my god. What am I gonna do?

Wait, it's my day, right. I'm supposed to be happy. And no need to care a lot for one day. Right? Yuhu. It's me day.

Happy Birthday, me.

when life offers gourmet dining.

2008-04-06T05:17:00.000-07:00

concert is.. DONE :) i'm happy and relieved and stressfree and yet i'm starting to miss the twiceaweek practises and whatnots already. :| brian did ask me something:

he: are you going to stay here? like for some years?
me: i don't know. depending on my working permit. hopefully i'll get it.
he: need you..

awwwww. of course i want to stay and build up the orchestra team together with them. i have huge hunch that they're going to be big. it's just about time because many well-known people are starting to jump in already and contribute to perform. it's really only about time. if only my wish does come true :)

they have already put my name in for the next concert in july, but honestly i don't know if i want to join again. because i want to focus on what i'm doing first; advertising, in order to lay myself a good job and working permit. problem is only with the distance (time & money) that i have to sacrifice everytime i have to go there.

working in this orchestra team has been very fruitful to me. i got to know people from various backgrounds with various musical skills (and gosh many guys there do play the piano better than the girls. they even play jazz and bossanova! ?@#$!@#?$!@$#!!). i got to know the true respected music maestro brian, who have taught me anything i want to know. and who has been very helpful to me inside and outside the orchestra =)

aaahh.. i don't knowwww... at times like this i really wish i don't have to think so much. huhuhuhu.

anyway, for those who came yesterday!!! THANKS A BUNCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORTS. YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE A STAR. THAT'S ONE BIG EXPERIENCE THAT I WILL NOT EVER FORGET FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. THANKS SO MUCH!!!!! :)

Janet, Fajar, my bro, Cheryl, Ben, Jayne, Johnson, Budi, Kendy, Re, Curut, Yopi, Arip, Limsy, Chenchen, Ronald, Cabo, Nur, Veri, Finna & friends, Ebi, Ebi's bf :P:P, and some other names that I might have probably left out, THANKS A LOT =) (i'll steal pictures from re's camera asap)

now it's time to go back to school and assignments. on friday i'm going to port dickson to help out something for my ex-boss. and next week, dearest boyfriend would probably fly to medan :) so happy so happy.

for the umpteenth time

2008-04-02T05:39:00.000-07:00

for the umpteenth time, congratulations yang :) for the merit you've brought home from ADC. so proud of ya... ;) you're the winner.

tomorrow is performance premiere day... excited? ? ? ? ? hell... yeah...
final rehearsal was done perfectly well. i got goosebumps when playing the Love Song. hihihihi.

reminder to self: buy another 1 ticket for someone.

iu.. i'm so happy right now :)

get well soon, re. god be with you.

valentine's

2008-02-13T04:28:00.000-08:00

arrived safely at cyberjaya. hoho. lots of surprises when i entered the house. it is spectacularly clean. everything's fantastically put back in order. there's no dirt no fur whatsoever on the stairsteps. and when i entered the bedroom, there they were, our photos stuck on the cupboard. my favorite mouse stuffy was put dearly beside the red-turn-violet rose. and oh oh, forgot to mention that there's a footstep carpet already in front of the bedroom. mwahaha! and then continue, there seemed like someone sleeping under the blanket. i knew it it was the bolster anyway, but that still created 10% of suspense in me. lol. then... teroret... there it was.. my valentine's gift.. the long-awaited stuff... sitting right on the stereo...a metronome... with a little tiny card that addresses thousands of love from jakarta. yay ;)

and all thanks go to the boyfriend.

happy valentine's love, thanks for the surprise, and it's okay you're not here with me yet. (nyaha!)
and happy valentine's everyone... wish u have a sweet one... oh gotta hit the sack and wake up early and good morning office! duhhhhhhhhh.

chinese new year!

2008-02-06T19:02:00.000-08:00

i arrived on sunday. going back on the 13th next week.

so everyone, gong xi fa cai! :) i got to meet almost all of my cousins this year, which is good! and also my best friends... they just went home after the 'ritual visit' thing. i'm happy, but at the same time i'm bored. lol. tomorrow i'm going to brastagi for 1 night, then on sat night i planned to go out with my long-lost grade school friends!! and then on sunday prolly i'm going to pay a visit to a bestfriend's house. then on monday i got to settle some certification thingy. on tuesday i'm going out with my super long-lost and super bestfriend. on wednesday i'm going to spend my last time with my closest friends (if possible!), as i don't know, and really don't know when i'm going to be back here again. after graduation, i really don't know how life will roll.

but yay. =) on the 16th i'm going to klpac to pick up my piano scores. wuhu!

ttyl!

audition result

2008-02-04T22:39:00.000-08:00

remember the audition thingy?

i'm accepted! yayyyyyyyy! dream come true :D thank God

us

2008-01-25T21:08:00.000-08:00

Cute eh? I was just searching through my album and found that. I still can't believe we can pull this relationship until so long ;) loving each other more and more, getting closer and closer to each other's soul, understanding each other more and more, appreciating each other more and more... i guess i'm the happiest girlfriend ever alive!

recaps

2008-01-25T05:23:00.000-08:00

So what have I done throughout this week?

Wednesday - sleepover at Silvi's place at Cheras, doing some strategy work for ADC. Her mom is so sweet. =)

Thursday - went to a talk held by AAAA, about how to win stuffs at Cannes and the likes. kinda bored, but that's alright. got to see a lot of good stuffs. then went on to Sg. wang and practiced my audition piece for 3 hours (yours truly is joining an audition for orchestra pianist position!). The bf came and waited for me while I was practicing ^^ He even recorded some stuffs on the cellphone and listened to it the next day. Quirky. Anyway, after that I went home and continued doing the ADC stuff.

Friday - revamped the whole thing for ADC. i was very lethargic, despite the incessant support from the bf (maaf!!). at last, i didn't continue it anymore, since i already knew that the deadline was so close already. nonetheless i would still continue it for own portfolio (IF i were to enter advertising later. haha). then went to SS2 with my bro, re, arif, and the bf. Yea and here i am now after all of those stuffs mentioned above.

Lately I can't quite describe how I've been feeling except feeling so much thankful for whatever things that have been given to my life. Of course not everything will always go my way at all times, some unfairness took place, some jealousy took place, some greed took place, some gluttony took place, some wrath, some sloth (yea right the 7 devils!), but I only have to surrender my ego and step back a lil and take a look at a bigger picture and everything will move forward to a more wonderful place. It's true what they say, happiness is just a matter of decision.

I might want to take the pup for injection tomorrow, I'm quite scared of the parvo thing going around. But if anyone messes up anything with either my plan or my bf's plan, then I guess we'd have to postpone it to the next day. Ah yeah, 20th month is just a day away. ;) We plan to go to KLPAC opening day with arif and re this Sunday. And my audition is right there too next week. Oops!

So far the practising has been quite fruitful to my performance. Just hopefully I won't mess up on the due day because i tend to get stage fever whenever i'm performing, and suddenly booosssss... i lost all what i have to play. it happened! hahahaha. Gees i need to some do-list for tomorrow:

- give heartgard to the pup
- bring pup for injection
- revamp my cv and send it to the committee of klpac

i guess those are what's most needed for now. alrighty. going to watch FRIENDS before getting to sleep. ciao.

Farewell Crab-bing

2007-11-30T06:39:00.000-08:00

As a reward to the organizers of Ad Unplugged 2007, I was invited to a Crab-bing session at Terminal 3 ^^ 8 organizers showed up (supposed to be 10, one of them is the bf) as well as 3 bosses. We ate like kids, especially Andrew! With all the crabs messed up around his mouth xD But anyway... that's a good moment. Towards the end of the session, it was as well as a farewell bidding session to our two beloved colleagues Chris and Y'ng. :( After they gave speech, there were reflection sessions by the bosses to them. So sad :(:(:(:( But for sure, everyone's leaving for a good reason. Chris has just been accepted as an AE at BBDO. Y'ng is also soon departing for the UK to continue her study. "Don't be strangers guys..." that's what the bosses said lastly to us. "You guys have been more than just staff..." hmmm... I was very touched. It isn't my moment to say my farewell yet. Still have 17 more days to count down for it. Not looking forward to it, really.

Life has generally been good, especially since the time I stepped in to become an intern there. Life has changed. Will write more about this later when it's my time to take off. Hahaha. :P Received paycheck today. Llalalallaal....

changed?

2007-11-29T02:12:00.000-08:00

A good friend told me that I'd changed lately. I'd become more agressive in life and in speaking. Not that it was a complaint or whatsoever, though. Just a feedback. Okay, now I'd like to analyze why, because me as the one who'd changed, of course wouldn't realize that until someone closed pointed it out for me. Thanks buddy. Now I'd like to analyze about it.

Maybe it's an influence from working atmosphere as well as my bf. To me, those two sources are such good influences for me to support my growth though. My bosses are such positive people who are already so successful in life (not in terms of financial only, but also as a human being). So is my bf (I don't need to explain, do I?). And I'm just following the method that they used before. Get my intention clear, and go fight for it.

I'm tired of standing behind the stage to only see things happened. I decided that I didn't want that to happen again because I was tired of carrying all the burdens with me. I need to change. I must be happy. What other people say about me is only feedback, but what if other people start to step in my way while I'm cycling hard to achieve the mountain top? I decided that I wasn't going to let that happen again and again. It's a tiring cycle, really.

I just sort of changed though. To change is not easy. And when you say you want to change to yourself, you actually won't change. I only had the intention that I didn't want to be unhappy forever. And that's all that I held on to. Now I fought for what I believed in. I fought for myself to be happy. Definitely I couldn't just do it like clacking my fingers, I need to think if it's really correct to do so or not. I'm such a thinker sucker lately, especially when it comes to deciding things for myself. That's why in the end I could always come out with a rationalized piece of thought and fought with others with it. Not to sound boastful, I always won, because I fought with truth.

That's why some people are getting irritated with my mindset lately. What could I say except I don't care? Why should I bother those who always get in my way? That's when I think I become agressive. If I don't like anyone, I would show it, because I didn't have the power to put on mask and hide it. I didn't have the power to brush against those people's shoulders even only to say "Hi what's up?". Once I dislike someone, I would really just ignore that person. Is this a bad habit? Is this any worse than wearing a mask? I dont know somebody tell me. I'm open for feedback.

Lately I've been gaining a lot of shits. I've been hearing from a lot of sources that I trust. I was okay with it because I know to rise up above as a flag, there is a lot of wind that I have to fight with first. I don't effin care, just so you know. My bestfriends stood up for me though, they said that I didn't deserve all the things and I should fight hard and fight back all those people. Should I? I don't know, but I just raelly don't feel like doing so... Hahaha. Why should I mess with such people? Somebody?

Anw, today is not a good day. I encountered a bad bad issue. Not going to tell the details here :x

salmon spread

2007-11-28T12:54:00.000-08:00

have i told you that the ayam brand salmon spread tastes like heaven? thou shalt try.

everytime the bf is away, i always eat 'sad food'. instant noodles, tuna/salmon spread + bread, delivery, tapao. kakakakkaka. it just sorta happens anyway. and as you can see i'm actually not much of a dine-out person. delivery is good. mcd is so cursed for not having the delivery system until here. :E

presentation in only an hour and my one and only handsome groupmate is rendering the video now.

uhuy!

2007-11-27T19:43:00.000-08:00

Silvia came to accompany me last night. She'll be staying over at my place until Friday. Wahoo! I would be totally alone if she weren't here. :x thanks budddy.

Went to school today, after so many weeks not visiting it. When the bus stopped at Street Mall, I almost forgot that we had to get down to change bus -_-" Luckily there's Kendy sitting beside me. If no, I would be brought touring around the whole Cyberjaya. Hahahaha. I also forgot that we had to get down across the bus station. OMG... as though I'm not a student anymore. BAHAHAHA. School was not as crowded as usual, which is good. Hate to see crowd everywhere. Hate to smell smokes at the Plaza. Anw, I went to school only to meet up with my one and only member left in Malaysia, the belovedhandsomegayest Kendy. kakakaka. Yes, baby, it's left only the two of us doing all the stuffs right now. Cool eh.

For this semester, I haven't really got superb groupmates, well, it's LUCT, what could you expect? But I should say, at least for entire 3.5 years here, I've got the best ones, which was during my Facilitation and Negotiation group projects. It's stressful to be in a group with people who demand good works, but it's even more stressful to be in a group with bunch of slackers who don't know anything and don't bother to find out about anything. They act ignorant alright, they don't disturb me, but seeing them carry a good mark because of those who work hard really stabs my heart. There are a lot of such people outside. Many choose to shut up toward this kind of person. I know I can't do anything either about this but to shut up as well. But I'm sure waiting for the time to see them experience what I went through before. I'm mean, but hey, people should get lessons to learn to grow.

My most bitchiest group this semester would be the MTIB one. I got some aliens who didn't fucken know what they're doing. But my beau and me chose to shut up about it. He told me, "Honey, I trust you only. Why should I bother to yell at them? In the end, they will still produce craps." Yah, true enough. Honestly, i was often bothered by the thought of "marking" and stuffs, but after contemplating deeper, i would think the other way around. "What is with mark and award?" Those don't prove you professional forever. Attitude does. My man has proven this a lot to me. He never brags about his award thingies, to him those are just proofs to see where he already is and where he's heading next. He was happy when he was awarded (of course yea! doh!) but after that he would seem to have forgotten about it. I often teased him with all his awards when he acted stupid at home. Kakakaka. But anyway, that's one thing I like about him. He's someone with good attitude. He's emotional when it comes to crap though (esp. when it comes from people that he trusted before). I can understand that nevertheless.

Btwwww.. the Jeff Orr workshop yesterday was a total eye-opener! I was so glad I attended. Heck there were sooo many lessons that I got from my future boss! =) We wrapped up at 11.30 pm then only we went home... Tiring alright but that's okay. Worth the experience!

I didn't go to work today as well as tomorrow. Thanks to DM. And I mean ,sincerely thanks. HAhaha. I miss my student life, somehow. Good luck to everyone for tomorrow!

^^

2007-11-27T14:33:00.001-08:00

Kinda fun! :)

For this one, add 1 year to it. LOL.

Miss him.... duh.

^^

2007-11-27T14:33:00.000-08:00

Kinda fun! :)

For this one, add 1 year to it. LOL.

Miss him.... duh.

as easy as sunday morning

2007-11-24T15:06:00.000-08:00

woke up late! darrggh. waking up late often gives me an ire to start the day. especially when i wake up at almost noon. uh oh!

the bf wants to go visit ikea today, i feel like going as well. i feel like eating there again. but... curse the crowd!!!! it's always very packed. dddurgh.

you see my cranky mood this morning? hahahahahaha. ease me, someone. ease me. 25 more days to new office. Whee!

saturday ;D

2007-11-24T00:11:00.000-08:00

saturday today is a good one ;D have stayed home all day with the two beloved ones. went out in the afternoon to my bro's place to pick up something though and caught up a bit with him. dude is such a grown-up now :) mom must be proud.

i think i'm going to be a dead pig for this coming week. thanks to design management :) mon beau won't be around for one week :( kind of not used to such situation anymore now.

bergh.. anyway... :D life has been good llaalalalaalalalala...

(actually i'm kinda mad and kinda feel funny about some people out there. should i list them and their weirdnesses here? i don't mind.

- there is someone who likes to spice up other people's business and turn it into a horror movie and make the actors suffer so that she could watch it gleefully from a far.
- there is someone who thinks he deserves something and forcefully convince the world to trust him.
- there is someone who's not willing to pay extra RM 5 to reach the destination with much more comfort. he preferred more to waking up one hour earlier, waiting for bus, train and walking, despite all the sunshine and rain.
- there is someone who's so cynical about other people's love life just because he can't get one just as beautiful. shame.
- there is someone who always keeps a look on those he thinks are competing with him, while actually not. he's only #125,234,123 and those that he thinks are competing with him are far way beyond him.

well. the world and all the weirdos. i don't curse weirdos. it's just that, they are funny. they are parasites alright. but their existences do make the world more colorful. let's love weirdos!)

Yay!

2007-11-22T05:51:00.000-08:00

Yay! Yours truly made her way down to KL this morning and scored the interview in front of 3 interviewers ;D

At the moment, I don't know about how I feel (no, it's not about the interview thing whatsoever). It's just really generally about how I feel at the moment. I'm exhausted. Truly extremely exhausted. Have not been getting proper sleep lately. Meeting schedule is everywhere. Deadline to meet here and there. This and that. Not that I'm complaining. I enjoy whatever I'm doing. I really do. But it's just sometimes, this little soul of mine wishes for something/someone that could really understand about how I feel daily.

Stress caught me up very often, but the worst part is I don't even have time to think about it, let alone contemplate about it. As a human being, I really do realize that I have to cry to let it all out. I have to laugh to catch back whatever I've lost through my tears. But I barely have time for that. I'm losing my life here, d'oh.

Current internship will end by (hopefully if they do let me go), december 17th, and I plan to start the new one only on the 20th. On 18 and 19, I need to rejuvenate myself! LOL. I want to go home so badly... but I don't know when I'll be able to do that. Well, not until my internship is over by late Feb. By that time, new semester would have started. Sighssss.

I often feel like I've left out so many things that are happening amongst my peers and it feels like I've been living in another world.

Seriously man, what's wrong with my hormone? I'm getting more and more emo each day. Holy gee.

Life at this pace.

2007-11-21T00:50:00.000-08:00

Life has been busy, man. And by busy here doesn't mean busy with journals or assignments. That, I could still handle. I don't mean to boast, but my workload at the office is really eating up most part of my brain. I have to be responsible to two of my bosses. I have to be responsible to the Financial Manager. I have to be responsible to everyone, because now I'm dealing with people. Shoot! How time flies and now I actually really feel like an adult. Tomorrow I'm going to have another interview in KL. I'm supposed to prepare my portfolio and all that, but currently I just want to rest half an hour of today on Youtube-ing and blogging. I guess it isn't that much of bludging afterall?

Bestfriends have been seeking me all over the places, and they were never like this before. Sudden SMSes and e-mails kept on popping up. "Hey, sweetie, how are you? I MISS YOUUUU". "I know you're busy, that's why I don't ever bother to call u up on MSN." "Take care, prioritize your health darling!" "When will you be back home?" "When you read this e-mail, don't reply if you're really busy" and the saddest part.. "I'm currently on the downside of life..." I wish I could listen to them. I wish I could. Really... I even had to purposely spend my time to reply their messages when I was waiting for the train to come at KL Sentral (thanks ERL for providing wifi there!!!!)... I miss them. I miss theeeem.

I also damned miss my family back home but knowing the fact that everyone's doing just fine calms me down a lot :) I'll be home and lead that easy life, in February... RIght now I still feel like fighting for the future despite anything that gets in my way.

I miss college, too, anyway. But for sure I don't miss anyone from there (except a particular bestfriend ;)). I know I'm blunt on saying this, but that's just how bland I feel at the moment toward certain people at school. Everyone's wearing a mask. Everyone talks bad about each other at the back and still pretend like there's nothing when they are physically together. WHAT? Everyone says he's truthful on his blog, on his PM, on his whateverplatformtheycalltoexpresstheirfeeling, but I trust my heart better than my eyes. What I see and what I read won't go into my mind if it doesn't feel right. OMG, i'm such an emo all of a sudden!

But that's it. That's it. Have been getting a few good friends lately who could let me see through themselves and what friendship is really all about. That enlightens the part of me that always says my life is a solitary.

Anyway... Time for another battle... I better run off and quit this thing. LOL.

Wish me luck.

why?

2007-11-19T04:10:00.000-08:00

why is this room never tidy?

i bet from 10 people who have ever visited this room, 9 could've shook their heads in disbelief to see all the mess around. how could he win so many awards in such room, you may ask. nyahahaha.

why is it such a mess, anyway?

apparently the male master is a slob. literally. (sorry hon!) the male master depends too much on the female. the female was dependable, when she was still jobless and assignmentless. while now, it's almost hopeless for her to tidy up all the stuffs. sometimes when situation doesn't get any better, the male could get not tahan already, and he'll be the one who tidies up the whole room. and when he's the one who does the tidy up, you could shake your head even harder in disbelief that he can turn the room into a tidy hotel-feel bedroom. and i mean it literally.

the up and down of living together ;)

date

2007-11-18T01:06:00.000-08:00

we had a date today :) it's really something that we'd been looking for such a long time, a time to date, that is (thanks to work and college). so i saw the brochure last week that satoru shionoya a jazz pianist is in town and is performing at KLPac yesterday and today. OMG. Piano? Jazz? KLPac? I soooo wanna go. When i informed that to him, his response was straightaway like "okay. when is it? wanna go?" YEAYAYAAAY! lol. so off we went today. we arrived the earliest i believe. after purchasing the ticket, we ran off to have cheap and nice bakuteh around sentul. then we went back to KLPac. it's still 2 pm, and the show was just going to start at 3. so we took a walk inside the Koi centre. It's like a mini japanese area, with lots of koi ponds inside. and i mean, really really a lot! it kinda felt romantic to me to walk inside that 'japanese-feel' garden for half an hour only with him *shy* after that, we still had like another half an hour to kill, so we drove off to KL there only for the sake to kill the time.

at 3 pm, the show started. it started with shionoya playing the 'morning breeze' song.. it carried me awaaaay. then the rest of the groupmembers started to show up and played for about 2 hours... the show was EXCELLENT. after the show was ended by the leader, all the visitors (who were 80% japanese) stood up and shouted for "more more more more" wwwhoaaahh.. xD that's really really excitingggg.. the band then showed up again to play the last song "rasa sayange" ehuehuehuehueheu...

after that, he drove me to IKEA, because that's where i'd been really wanted to go. i only miss the chocolate ball that's it :P and we went there only for the sake of chocolate ball and daim cake :P then we went around cineleisure, the curve and ikano. thanks to my mens cramp, i had to go back soon. i couldn't stand it anymore.

but what i couldn't stand more is not typing today out to this blog. sorry for the crap language though. pictures will be posted later ;)

thanks, yang.

finding passion.

2007-11-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

Isn't it a shame to throw confetti to a cheater? Lately I've been having a dream where in the situation a cheater gets to be thrown up to the sky and enjoy the confetti glam. I thought it wouldn't come true in real life. Well, let's just see how long it can last before everybody finds out (our has them found out but they pretended).

I'm thinking of flying to Aus, or US, or Europe this coming December to take a short course of classical piano performance. Fuck internship. Fuck advertising. As days pass by the more I realize that that is not what I've wanted. I've been asking around to Aust Inst of Music in Sydney but it doesn't provide any for the year end this year. Hmmmm.

"Why should I celebrate birthday parties for those who are not having ones?"

2007-11-03T23:48:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to celebrate the post-celebration today because I didn't really feel like going and I still have tonnes of things to do. He promised me that we're going to celebrate only on the two of us. That sounds better.

About us.

2007-11-03T23:43:00.000-07:00

It isn't easy at all for us to get through this battle of 1.5 years (approx). We started perfectly beautifully. He's the one that I wanted, I was the one he wanted. He gave up his scholarship for the sake of our relationship. There were a lot of cryings involved. A lot of anxieties, as well as a lot of fear. Each night before we slept, we did our prayers so that everything would go smoothly for us. I didn't want to have any LDR anymore, I told myself because it wouldn't work out for me. Been there done that. So he fulfilled that wish of mine. That's at the brink of time before each of us went back to our own hometowns for holiday. Fuck I really didn't want to leave by that time, and neither did he. We did a lot of traveling before that. To Malaka (that's my first time to explore Malaka thoroughly). To Genting (I never enjoyed Genting that way before!). Those are our salad days. At the day when he sent me off to the airport, we hugged in front of our friends (which then resulted in some stale gossips that de-brand me). I didn't care about that, for I feared that it might be my last chance of seeing him (if he really moved to Singapore after that). We were both in fear.

I missed him every single second when I was having my holiday in Indo, then suddenly there's an offer from my parents for me to go to Jakarta. That could be my most exciting time of the year ever! I was sooooooooooo ecstatic. I was soooooo nervous. I was soooooooooooooooo damned excited. On the pre-departure day I couldn't sleep at all. I already had in mind what he would look like and how he would smile at me at the gate. What was his car like? What was his hometown like? What was his family like? What was his friend like? You know, all those sorts of questions. As I saw him there, I really felt like hugging him rightaway, but wait I could not! My aunt was there with me. Shoot. Then we went to his car and he drove me to eat and stuffs. Before he dropped me at my relative's house, he handed me his own-made itinerary for me. I was like... aaaaaaaaa :DDDDDD I couldn't believe he made such effort to arrange everything up to that details for me. There was introduction of each place that I should visit and he demanded me to give grade to each place that he brought me too (which I filled in wrongly hah!)

That 10-day of vacation was a sweet one. I was taken to so many places that I'd not known of and I should know. By the time he sent me off to the airport again, I didn't feel as sad anymore because by that time I already knew for sure that his scholarship had been canceled and we both were going back to Malaysia in 3 days. :D Nevertheless we still did all the hugging and stuffs.

As we came back to Malaysia, we still had that sweet kind of relationship. He bought me dinner and watched me fall soundly asleep. He covered me with blanket and typed romantic notes on the cellphones as I was sleeping (so that when I woke up there's a surprise). I also always found him caressing my face when I slept (or pretended to be asleep :P) To cut it short, he's always there for me any second I needed him.

After few months, things started to get sour. I don't know what started it, there's no third party, but things just really turned sour. We both fought really a lot, even over the smallest little thing. Many times I asked myself whether I should just call it off or not, but in the end I always ended up crying and said no. For an entire year, things have been juggly for us. It started from the smallest little thing until the department of "Third Party" came in (or at least that's how I called it). I never imagined such thing could happen to me, I thought it's only in the movie. But it did. It did happen. Many things hurt me along the way when that third party was there. (note: this might be my term only to call that as third party. because that's just how I honestly felt about it) For few months I lived in this slum suspecting and prejudging. Until one day I decided to call that off and lived on my own instead, because that's not important for me to get through, and there's no value if I was to continue such relationship. I was already trying to set up some strategies to free myself; whether not to think about it totally or pretended that there was nothing ever happened. I went for the first one.

I turned into a cold bitch for few weeks. I strategized how to cold myself down and not to love anymore. Each time I listened to love songs, I condemned them. How in the earth could such thing happen such as holding hands together and stayed loving and be loved forever ever after all those bull? Bleh! We still fought a lot, only this time in a better way, in a much more diplomatic way.

Slowly things just started to get better. I was still cold, but not as cold. I told myself to give more chances to this, without knowing why. What I knew is just I could win in this battle, I could still gain love in the end. And even if I couldn't, I would end perfectly well, not in hatred or anything.

Things really did get better. We didn't even fight anymore. There was time when I was such a sensitive bitch, but he consoled me down. Lately I've been loved like never before. I was hugged even more than before. He understands who I don't like. He tried to understand me and my feeling. It's just.. cool! Not perfecto yet though, sad to say.

But oh well, things are getting better, that's all I need to say and I wish that someday my heart will be totally opened to love all over again...

Kancil Awards 2007

2007-11-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

So after the Ad Unplugged in the morning, I went around Sunway Pyramid and Ayam Penyet Ria to kill the time before the Kancil Awards Night. Yes, I was invited! :D I got the chance to witness my beau's victory, no I repeat, 3 victories!

Congrats, hon, for winning the Gold, Silver, and Bronze, 1 set now. Happy? I bet you are. Hahahhaah.. Anyway.. check out the pics in my picture folder. It's there :)

tired of asking, let's shut up and move on.

2007-10-30T02:37:00.000-07:00

i'm tired of throwing the same question all over again. it gets no answer. it's just going to kill me over and over. i don't want to pretend as though there's nothing going on either. i know there's something going on. i just don't want to bother about it. it's not worth my time and feeling.

so they're cheating. what's next? so he's not fair. what's next? everyone carries brain inside his head, i don't need to chase for answers all the time. sometimes they must wake up and realize about what they've done.

i'm only 21. young and have so many things waiting to be pursued.

seems like i will have to remind this ceaselessly to myself: life is my own to handle. those around me are just players that get me to learn more stuffs in my life. those i love, i love them sincerely. those i hate, is already placed at the most corner side of my heart. i've tried not to hate people, but as human, i admit i can't avoid that.

busy bee

2007-10-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

eversince last wednesday, i've become such a hecticchaos bee. 95% offered me a 6-week internship until the end of nov. at first i didn't know if it's an internship, i thought i could only just go and help out for the Ad Unplugged prep and simply cao after that. But... sighs. i don't mind working there. i love it. it has such a positive surrounding to support my personality growth and such. i have three fun colleagues. we like to speak british, we like to speak indian, we like to shake our bodies, we scream, we laugh out loud, we help out each other whenever possible, but but... it's the transportation baby!! daargh. for the first few days i took bus (lovely e1) to go back and forth everyday. but after 3 days passed, i told myself it's either i quit, or i bought the monthly erl ticket. that's before the internship letter was issued. so one day when i just reached the office, the finance lady handed me over that freaking letter to welcome me aboard until 30th nov. i thought "ffffffuuucck! why now?! why?!" i have even had my own namecard and e-mail address from them. now how am i supposed to quit!

well, to cheer myself up, i bought the erl ticket which cost me rm 225. and now i'm juggling my life to survive. so far it's been both stressful and fun. by working there full time helps me to forget about my own personal problems which occured and beat me down to stress last time. now i know more people. now i get a bigger chnace to connect with other people other than my old friend circle. and it's actually fun.

i miss some of my good friendes in lkw though ;) fear not i'm going back to school tomorrow for mtib presentation. hahahahha. alrighty. time to off to the office already. got copy, got flash animation, got this and that which are all undone. woohoo! see ya.

"Thank you"

2007-10-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

"Luckily I got the two of you..."

Canon and I were smiling to each other :)

really don't know where to start.

2007-10-11T10:26:00.000-07:00

suddenly i feel like blogging here =p

these past few days i've been working like crazy for something. and i've got helluva experiences from it. (sorry guys, can't tell what kind of work it is (yet)) :P but i've met great people from all around the world (literally) and got something HUGE, and i mean HUGE from them. about work and about life. it's been really great. even thousands of dollars won't be able to buy that for me.

it's pure luck that i could get into that position actually. some people were busy and they were looking for replacement so hell i just went for it. nothing to lose, afterall. working hour? damn tiring. 4 hours of sleep per day (but i woke up late for 2 days ^^). hahaha. but that's alright. it pays off.

toinght i'm going back to indo for a week because my parents have been asking me to go home (apparently they so cannot tahan to let me and brother to try to stay in the new house already). on the first few days when they moved in, my parents both kept on text-ing me describing everything nice about the house, so i was really curious until i decided to book the airticket to go home. lame excuse huh :P my brother won't be able to come home until december though because his course is still running. glad that he's doing well there. so, yeap. new house. up there is the pic of the house when it's not done yet. taken last june if not mistaken. i'm going to ikea tomorrow morning to buy some paintings for it. my parents have actually bought some from the galleries there and here in KL, but i don't think it's enough. so let's see what i'm gonna get for them tomorrow (no, today!). and oh yeah, and it's also my parent's anniversary today, i'm still not sure of what to give them. the boyfriend suggested those fancy condoms from I NEED HOUSE. -_-" *cold swt*

actually i'd also been wanting to go home eversince this semester started. i dont know why. maybe it's just the pressure brought from during the holiday and stuffs (yeah, bad luck visited me during holiday. just a short intro to it, during the hols, i was a crap by that time. a total crap. my bestfriends all really shouted at me and asked me to stop dwelling into that situation and decided something. but i couldn't. what i could do was only to cry silently to my sleep and kept on pondering to no avail. now i'm also not that okay with that situation anymore, but i definitely feel it's getting better. the key is, stop looking at those unnecessary stuffs and move on. the life is only for me to handle. no matter if anyone close to me dies or decides to break apart from me, or does something really badly, LIFE STILL FRIKKIN' ROLLS ON!) that's what i have to keep reminding to myself. anyway, enough of private stuffs:P) so yeah. home. that's what i'd been looking forward to. everytime i listened to buble's Home i would miss mon familie so much. too much, actually. doh. i still can't believe i'm going home tonight! on one hand, i feel like waaahh.. on the other hand, i don't feel A-okay, i feel anxious. don't ask.

have i told u that i just spoilt my iPod? i forgot to take it out from my pants and it successfully went into the washing machine. woohoo! somebody is either getting the new iPod or somebody is actually really looking forward to iPhone now. that happened just one hour ago and i woke up Fajar just for the sake for him to look at the screen that i'd spoilt. i didn't expect him to wake up at all actually, but unexpectedly he woke up, and quickly helped me to dry it out with hairdryer without any fuss. :)

anyway, i guess this is just getting too long. hahaha. just some of my whereabouts for you, jamieleeck. hhahahahahaha...

hah!

2007-07-16T19:02:00.000-07:00

can't believe that i'm going back tomorrow morning :( back to routine. back to mundane. back to.. *sighs*

i kinda have the hunch that many things are going to change after this. but i'm pretty sure they're all changing for a better situation. part of me is scared, part of me can hardly wait.

today is my last chance of going out with the bestfriends. i have a lunch appointment with 2 peeps, continued with hanging out to sun plaza with the the other two. life's fun here. in fact it's getting more fun than ever before. but too bad life's short when you're having fun...

okay so. first thing, i'm gonna go to a painting gallery to pick out some paintings for the new house decoration. that's exciting because my mom knows the owner so it's pretty relaxing for us to sit there longer and slowly choose. i'm gonna buy so many stuffs....~ money flies time flies.

a hi from sumatera

2007-07-09T14:20:00.000-07:00

i kind of miss posting here in multiply.
next wednesday i'm going back to KL to accompany my bro. yes, he's also transferring to KL (taylor's) to pursue his degree. his orientation will start on the 20th, that's why i have to go back that early.

life in indonesia is kind of exciting. i'm having yoga class, fun girl's day out, a lot of heavenly good food, and sufficient rest of course. but if u think i have nothing to think about, you're wrong. i'm having a major problem with someone and that's consumed me a lot of my good sleep. the problem that comes between us has let me lost my sanity and my brain literally.

i can't wait to go to brastagi this coming friday with my family and 2 of my bestfriends. right now, i just really can't be alone. my brain will go literally off.

adieu

2007-06-03T20:39:00.000-07:00

i'm seriously thinking of terminating this blog once and for all. i can't think of anything to write with so many eyes viewing the page. i'm sorry.

just in case you track me somewhere else, c u there. au revoir!

termination

2007-06-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

my blogger is permanently terminated for blogging and so is multiply.
however, you can still see i update the schedule, music, or even video here.
thanks.

1 year 1 day

2007-05-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

hahahaha.
managed to go and watch pirates 3 last night. fell asleep when the movie went 3/4 though, mind u i was already too tired yesterday after helping out the bf. the movie isn't as nice as the first two sequels though, and for me it's too long. i'm sorry but i'm just the person who can't sit still to watch a movie. that earns me a lot of nags from the bf whenever we sit and watch something. lalala.

before that we went to Delicious to eat first. oh man i've been so addicted to pork lately. esp. those braised pork. #%@#$!43 124121!!! all thanks to the bf again. ~_~ my weighing scale has shown something really unpleasant to be seen. hahh.

mom and siblings are coming tomorrow. some part of me can't wait but some part of me refuse them to come. see the contradiction? haha. will be bringing them to taylors college because my bro might go there. any suggestion between HELP and taylors for finance major? he's so torn to decide.

shopping time awaits. i've eyed on some pairs of shoe in vincci *_*~ :D~ my parents offer me an iPod, but should I just wait til i get myself the macbook? because the macbook package comes together with an iPod. but what if I won't get a mac in the end? what if i change my mind to PC? how ah.

the sky is rather gloomy outside. not a perfect idea to wash clothes. just in case u don't know, washing clothes is such a fond hobby for me. haahahahahhahaa......

manusiasombongdimanamana

2007-05-27T01:24:00.000-07:00

I often don't get it why successful people (either the self-acclaimed or really acclaimed! haha) like to speak with discomforting tones to others.

They often put their heads up to the air, and never lower down themselves and see things like humans anymore. They think they're all that. Alright, you're all that, people look up to you, people admire you, but excuse me they never like you and I grant you you won't feel pure happiness either.

You can always use your success in defeating yourself and your ego in speaking, but trust me it is just a cheap gimmick.

Why do you think Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Theresa are so adored and praised by people, and why do you think their demises had so much effect on everyone's heart?

I pity you, manusiasombong.

inspired by some blogs i just read minutes ago.

1 year

2007-05-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

1 year of me and the bf. Woooo! Happy anniversary to us. Thanks for the 'little' surprise last night, yang ;D

quitter?

2007-05-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

i have so much contradiction in me. my nature lets me be so.
am supposed to be happy today.
am supposed to.
am supposed to find something new.
am supposed to.
am supposed to breathe in new air and feel calmed, for only a day.
am supposed to.
am supposed to feel spoilt, and loved for too much.
am supposed to.
am supposed to eat something sumptous.
am supposed to.

but look at what shit i do have to face.

jeanette, quit.

blaaaaaaaa

2007-05-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

AEG class is okay today. Yawned a lot. HAHA!

From there we went to Ayam Penyet to eat, and when arrived home, straightly zzz on bed! LOL Holiday has really put me on heaven.

This time last year, is the moment of such many uncertainties happening. Fell in love. Lover-to-be had to leave for another country. Still attached with the by-then boyfriend. He, as well. Semester almost ended. Almost about time to get home. Couldn't get home, unless we both confessed and settled. If did get home, would be the biggest regret of the whole life. How how how? Answer will be conveyed tomorrow. You'll know why! Haha.

I'm still burping out the Ayam Penyet smell and it feels so uncomfortable. :/ Tomorrow is Sunday and I think I'll just stay home for the whole day. I simply don't know where to go anymore. Last week is already my full week spent in KL, this coming week will also be my whole week spent there, so I'm just saving the best for the last. What should I do then? Some painting? Some cooking? Some tidying up? How boring.

I easily get bored, that's my nature. No matter how grand something is, I will feel excited only by the first few days, after that.. adieu.

Dudette isn't feeling so high at the moment. Something's bothering her. And a writing is planned on her mind. Wait on.

quizzie

2007-05-25T09:51:00.000-07:00

1.IF you can chose to get married when
and where?
when i am 24, or at least 26, by the beach.

2.IF you can choose any occupation,
what do you wanna be?
orchestra pianist

3.IF you can design your own house,
rate the biggest size rooms you'll
have!
i don't necessarily need spacious house, for me as long as it feels warm it's enough.

4.IF you can change your body to
someone else's,what would it be and
whose part of body do you want?
phew!

5.IF you can bring someone from the
dead, who would it be? and why?
mozart!!!!!!!!!!

6.IF you can open a shop, what kinda
shop?
printing shop kali ya!!! hhahaha!

7.IF you can paint your car, what
colour would it be?
black

8.IF you can say something to your
worse ex, what would that be?
Thanks for that journey that we've been through. At least now I know which one is better which one is worse for me. haha!

9.IF you have 5 wishes, what would you
ask for?
- better living for everyone in this world
- no revenge no chaos
- graduation and decent job!
- forgiven by those who hate me
- maturity

10.IF there's a fortune teller, tarot
reader or what ever, what would you
like to know about your future?
for some aspect, i guess i NEED to know

11.IF you can choose where you wanna be
burried,where?
next to my own family members

12.IF you did not die and you'll live
longer, what would you regret doing the
last 6 days?
stupid question haha

13.IF you can go to space where do you
wanna go and why?
star. so that i can shine.

14.IF you can be a super hero, who you
wanna be?
supermannnnn

15.IF you can adopt other country's
culture, what would that be and why?
any culture except indo culture! apart from being bored i also find it not worthy of anything

16.IF you can redo today what would you
do better?
cleaning the room

Holyday part two

2007-05-25T02:00:00.000-07:00

Blame the holiday. It makes me feel too high that I can't type a proper holiday anymore. LOL.

Anyway. I haven't done much these days. Cooking is the only thing I do the most, apart from playing computer games hahaha... I have so many things planned to be done though for this coming holiday, one of which is... yoga the class is starting on the 19th of june. i'll see if i'll make it. Big probability is i will. I feel like my body is already such a storeroom of all the junks and now it's about time I puke them all out.

Can't believe that it's the 25th of may already today. Looking back to last year.... really brings back hellotof sweet memory of me and the bf. anniversary is only few days away.

It's really surprising to find out so many of my real life mates own Multiply accounts Honestly I don't really feel like typing much when such many people are reading. LOL. I might move again.

thanks.

2007-05-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

must..stand...up....
must...chinnnnn...up....

thanks to three of my besties for the enlightenment. (maimo, cilpi, ase). <3

sekarang aku uda mencapai titik yang kalian maksud itu.

malacca

2007-05-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

i had a super good time in malacca with the boyfriend and sese yesterday. we stayed at baba house, took so many pictures and ate lotsa good food (altho i ended up with cirit birit wakakaka). otw back i text silvia to meet up for the last time with sese. ended up with us 'reunited' at sunway pyramid. from there we headed to asia cafe to dine for the last time before sese goes back tomorrow :(

parting always lets me feel bad. although in less then few weeks time i'm still going to see her face, somehow i still feel this past one week has been such a worthy memory and i am so not letting it go. i surely will miss her once she embarks on her journey back home :((

glad that she's made friend with one of my other bestfriends here and they get along so pretty darn well that i almost have to close my ears everytime they rotfl. =D sekarang tinggal maymo doang yang belon. silvia is so dying to know you loh, mo. waakakaka. (i know either one of u or the both of u will read this.)

anyway. AEG class is confirmed to be finished one week later than the mentioned one, so it'll fall on the ninth of june instead of the second and so i'm going back only after that. on one hand i feel so happy that it's postponed which means that i can stay here longer. on the other hand i kinda miss my hometown but i don't wish to stay there too long either. so perhaps, one week - ten days there and let me come back here. i dare say that kuala lumpur has been my first hometown now. and medan is the second. *shrugs* it's only the food and the family and the bestfriends that always make me go back. nothing else.

reality. sucks.

2007-05-18T11:18:00.000-07:00

if it wasn't my bestfriend's visit, then i wouldn't know how to describe happy-ness anymore these days. averagely my mood has flown following the dollar chart, or even worse if i was really to say. one moment i was over cloud nine, the others i was drowned deeply into the sea. pardon me if you readers have to put up with my gloomy mood all the time, because that's how i planned my blog from the very beginning; the place where i trash my glooms, and if readers find it interesting to read, then proceed, if don't, it's better.

lately i've been hearing songs about finding those that you really embrace in life, and honestly i can't really turn around and see and catch anything and that often lets me feel so lost and so much in despair. am i that lonesome? am i that awkward? or is it just me?

i am not living in my world, there are so many interruptions that i can't avoid, there are so many desperation that i couldn't shield, and there are simply too many "i don't know"s that i find in myself. i don't even know who i am anymore. i am so tired living under someone's shoulder, like a pond's scum that that someone can randomly spit on, because i'd always been that up-to-up person. this is no longer what i want if i look carefully into my heart.

i find it exhausting to contemplate about life and perception and principles and whatnots, because in the end we can't really change the world, what we ought to do instead is to change ourselves, fuck it. that sounds selfish alright.

i admit that lately i have been sucha good 'liar' of myself and a good antisocialist at the same time, just because i find those peaceful for my life. or it's actually more like the best contemporary remedy for the soul.

i started reading spiritual book 2 days ago and truthfully i really find it useful. my soul is enlightened bit by bit as i flip through the pages.

oh btw dudette just went back from her one day holiday at genting yesterday. i felt so much on my holy-day while i was there. i felt so lifted. =D tomorrow i'm hitting malacca. hope it'd be just as fun though i know it won't :P but lets hope for some good shit happen alright.

f u stay away.

2007-05-16T18:40:00.000-07:00

..because from this moment on, when i fall, you'll be my last resort to come back to.
that's how thin the line lies between love and hatred, sincerity and revenge.

i'm finding my own passage. let me cross.

and, sorry, i don't need you to come in my way.

fuck you stay away.

what la this!

2007-05-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

OMG it takes forever to log in blogger dot com on my laptop. ><

There's a bombastic lightning struck at 7 am this morning and no one slept beside moi fughhhh and I could only cover my face with comforter... aaaaaaaaaa i planned to get up by 8.30, but i ended up waking up only by 11-ish. cool huh? i have totally been an ignorant to my alarmie lately. mwahahaah.

The boyfriend will be back tomorrow yeepie. Lots of good food awaits! The pup is such a bugger since the boyfriend left. He destroys the shoe rack..!!!! Luckily though that one isn't the one that we're using. >O He hasn't been eating his food lately because it finished on the day the boyfriend wasn't here and no one drives to Puchong to buy it. Ah besok dia pulang.. hehehehe

Blogdom is not as popular as how I used to know it few years ago. These days when I browse around to people's blogs, I find nothing new and updated anymore. Where have all you people gone to? Nana, Ivana, Dican, Ara, Dian, Jully, where're ya all gurls? Miss ya all so badly. ~ljindo sepiiiii....

These few days I must admit I've lost my respect to some people whom I thought as cool and mature but they showed some actions which totally turned me off. Outlook doesn't tell anything, believe me. I don't care if you're rich, attend the Ivy-League clicks, whatsoever, to me you're just a pond scum with nil personality.

Bye!

a guy named Damien

2007-05-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

Lisa: Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Lisa: Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright with you?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright with you?
With you...

Damien: Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Damien: Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away (Lisa: Is that alright? Yeah.) when it's loaded

Is that alright with you?
If you don't shoot it how (Lisa: Is that alright? Yeah. ) am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away (Lisa: Is that alright? Yeah. ) when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

Damien: Is that alright, yeah?
Give my gun away (Lisa: Is that alright? Yeah. ) when it's loaded
Is that alright with you?
If you don't shoot it how (Lisa: Is that alright? Yeah. ) am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away (Lisa: Is that alright? Yeah. ) when it's loaded
Is that alright
Is that alright with you?

(Slight Overlap..)
Damien: Is that alright, yeah?
Lisa: Give my gun away when it's loaded
Damien: Is that alright, yeah?
Lisa: If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Damien: Is that alright, yeah?
Lisa: Give my gun away when it's loaded
Damien: Is that alright, is that alright?

D & L: Is that alright with you?

Damien: No...

Thanks Limsy for the song. Love it to the max!! Jeen said Damien Rice was the type of musician who would die young! Me think so too! Let's see :P hahahahaha... I want to reshape myself in playing guitar in the near future because I stopped halfway last time. What a waste!

Oh oh btw.. Damien.. you took my breath away............................... (Speaking of Damien, I think I should've named my pup Damien instead of Canon because he's born on 6-6-6.. whatcha think?)

Whole day out.

2007-05-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

I woke up pretty late this morning and had to call off my plan to attend the showcase at school with limsy. *sorry* hoho... i went to KLCC straightaway after that in search of *something* harharharharhar... no one was available so i took off myself. it felt really good actually. lately i've been going out on my own a lot and it's exciting if i should say. so i finally got that *something* and came back home all grinny.

Now what's next? Oh yes.. putting all the essay into the design. crap!

Diner Dash fever

2007-05-07T00:18:00.000-07:00

Went to school only to return books and borrowed some illustration books ;) dudette wants to paint.

As I was waiting for the bus, a Hongki man came up to me and asked me where to find a missing student there. Lastly I took him to the Registry. I think the student looks very familiar but I definitely don't know her. When we're seated, he told me that he's a traditional doctor with the head office here in KL, and branching to Hong Kong and Australia. He gave me his business card but I gave it to Jamie :P He said he cured those Hongki artists like Lee Hom, whoever whoever, well he looks assuring indeed, but I just don't really care, for when he told me that the missing girl was his ex-girlfriend, what popped up in my mind was just "ohhhh... apek lauhiau..." (translation: om2 gatel..., pek phi ko :P) He's what, almost 50, and had a girlfriend who's barely 23 I believe. Apparently the missing girl was his ex girlfriend and she never returned the car that he lent him. What a drama. I then excused myself that I had to leave because I was in a rush. So then I left.

Then I went back home, fed Canon and me the same food, rice + instant noodle. Hahahah.. kesian si canon...

Okay, want to play Diner Dash again now.. cao...

kawin mengawini

2007-05-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

1. reaksi kamu kalo ditanya kapan
kawin?
= hiaaaaa... begitu dilamar dah :P

2. knp ibu2 suka sekali nanya kapan kawin?
kepengen dandan cantik2 trus makan enak2 trus gendong cucu

3. hidup setelah menikah menurut kamu?
a brand new start. dont know what would happen.

4. berapa sering ditanya "kapan kawin"?
well lumayan sering belakangan. tae.

5. mo nikah umur brp?
24-26 is perfect.

6. knp orang tua senang menjodohkan
anaknya?
ya soalnya dengan menjodohkan kualitas 3B kan uda terpenuhi (bibit bobot bebet)

7. kapan kawin?
tae lu

8. setuju dg perkawinan beda agama?
as long as both parties are not fanatics, i think its ok

9. perkawinan impian kmu yg kayak apa?
anything planned out by me and him.. it does not necessarily have to be grand, as long as the people that we expect to turn up, do turn up and the love that we carry lasts forever. that's enough.

10. pesta kebun or di gedung?
gedung is better...

11. knp "kapan kawin" adalah
pertanyaan favorit para ibu?
= T_T kurebus kau...

12. percaya bahwa perkawinan membuat
kmu bahagia?
= if it's with the right person, definitely yea

13. kenapa?
= *slaps*

14. kira2 kpn bakalan ga ditanya
lagi "kapan kawin"?
setelah kawin la ndul

15. jd kapan kawin?
*kicks ur ass*

quizzie 1

2007-05-06T23:53:00.000-07:00

1.What does your shout out mean?
* dont have any

02. What does your default photo mean?
* nothing it's just me

04. What's your current status?
* in a relationship.. oh where's number 3?

05. What exactly are you wearing right
now?
* the minnie mouse t shirt akio bought me from hk disneyland and a super cheap maybe only 1 ringgit pants my grandma bought me from pasar loak

06. What's your current problem?
* i miss somebody so badly.

07. Do you have a Date on this
fine day?
* no

08. What makes you the happiest?
* go travelling somewhere with those i love, eat anything i find there, take too many pictures, and come back home and sleep.

10. What were you doing at midnight
last night?
* eating with lim :P

11. If you could go back in time and
change something, what would it be?
* signed up for the Boxhill Institute application.

15. What's the name of the song that's
stuck in your mind right now?
* Melt With You

16. Any celeb you would marry?
* no

18. Name someone with the same birthday
as you?
* Junita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *apa2an coba kenapa dia coba!*

19. Do you have a crush on someone?
* no

20. Have you ever vandalized someones
private property?
* i guess so.. hahhaa

28. Say something totally random about
you?
* my hands smell badly

34. Do you eat fish?
* opkorsssss

36.Do you like to shop?
* when i have lotsa money why not

40. What is the background on your
desktop?
* windows default wallpaper

43. Do you have any weird relatives?
* yes

44. What was the last movie you
watched?
* v for vendetta.. hahaha

45. What was the last book you read?
* advertising without an agency? hahahaha whatadork.

46. What's your favorite pair of jeans
you own?
*a pair by P & Co. cheap and nice.

48. recent pair of shoes/slippers you
bought?
* the one from vincci

49. What song are you listening to?
* nothin

50. Whats your favorite thing on
display in your room?
* nothing is on display ahahahha

randomityness

2007-05-06T02:10:00.000-07:00

okay... no one at home... no one to talk to... no one to play with... no one to cook for... no one to watch dvd with... no one to bug... no one to laugh with... long story cut short, i miss him! *furious*

i have been bludging like hell the whole day! I woke up at 11 am by the boyfriend's phonecall :D found out that silvia was already off to church, she left me message on my cellphone. online, no one to talk to... everyone's out. sighssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

is my social life bar so weak?

would love to go out but i don't feel like going out alone right now. surprisingly to me! what should i do?

Rojak.

2007-05-01T21:39:00.001-07:00

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. and some addition of me "but most of all, you cannot fool yourself some of the time or all of the time"

Finally I am twenty one. Legal for anything. Yes, anything, did I just say anything? :P The birthday surprise was so sweet. The people that I expected to turn up, did turn up! And the cake that I wished to have, was there! :) Thanks all...... =) (2 people made excuse that they couldn't come because of stomachache - nat2, and locked in her own house - tina) hahaha.. still thanks anyway. That was the first time a surprise going on without me knowing it yea? My instinct has been tamed! haha

The wish that I made on that day was just the same wish that I've made since several years ago. Nothing changes, for that wish is what I believe to be the utmost important one and it has also covered for anything. It is like a big big cake that I've been wishing for, but all these whiles, what that have been fulfilled is just some slices of it. It hasn't been a whole, or am i asking for too much actually? Whatevz.

Last night I went to eat at Dengkil with the bf and Limsy. Limsy, being an anti-chilli, suddenly took up some chillis and put it in his chilli-holder (whatever the term excuse me!). The bf asked him, "What? Lim? You don't eat chilli right?" and guess what Limsy said... "Yea. only for display!" WHAT_THE! He made me cold sweat all the time.

The weather is pretty good. I feel energized although I have so many shits undone. As the holiday breaks, I will fly like a bird. Literally. haha.

It's something that I will never forget. It is like being thrown rotten tomatoes in front of the audiences, by the family itself that come to watch you for the recital. You broke down so badly. And the family never came to pat you on your back and consoled you, let alone apologized. And it happened, just right few minutes before your birthday.

fidelity

2007-04-28T03:35:00.000-07:00

Regina Spektor Lyrics

-.-

2007-04-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

If you think that you are always right, then this world is not your place.
Oh I had a major breakdown last night till 6 am in the morning. Good God. After that I installed the Teddy Bear Factory game into the laptop.. nyahaha.. omg i left my mouse at Silvia's! What the?!

This coming week is certainly a hectic week. Will I cope? Fingers crossed.

Garden.

2007-04-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

If you've been wondering why everything sounds so gloomy lately, wonder no more. I am feeling gloomy, despite my cheery outlook. Fuck outlook. Don't believe outlook.

2 bestfriends' birthdays on the same day. How I wish I could be with both at the same time and celebrated with them. (Hah.. talk about the good olden days!)

I just had my world converted into Greyscale. With the value of 40%. And I certainly don't hope it will go darker. Instead I hope that it will turn into sepia soon so that I can start off a brand new colorful picture. Soak it into tea? Like what I used to do 2 years ago in the lab? Haha.

Albeit the gloom, I still feel like running around a big garden wearing the red polkadot dress and spinning around while blowing the bubble soap in my hand. Never mind the color, it's greyscale anyway. But still... Even greyscale sometimes conveys bliss, doesn't it?

I won't care if the butterflies or bees come and pop my bubbles. I will still blow and spin anyway.

Until I fall down. Faint away. And wake up with a brand new day.

p.s: somebody needs to find her last resort at the moment.

i just love surveys.

2007-04-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

Who do you blame for your mood today?
++ assignments! the second i woke up i'd already had in mind the question WHAT SHOULD I DO TODAY!

How long do you think you will live?
++ i wish for only like 65 the max?

What was the 1st thing you did this
morning?
++ drain out the water from the washing machine and soak it with softener

Last person you went out to dinner
with?
++ the boyfriend and natch at ampang ^^

Are you spoiled?
++ yes.. in my own way

Do you drink lots of water?
++ so-so

How do you vent your anger?
++ this is interesting. i usually shout at the people for a bit then go and lock myself in my bedroom and cry or just listen to music (if that person is not worth to be cried for), and blog!

The last compliment you received?
++ thank you ya

Do you look more like your mother or
father?
++ father

When was the last time you threw up?
++ semester 3...

Would you ever join the military?
++ never!

Who was the last person you took a
picture with?
++ the boyfriend, i think

What was the last movie you've been
to?
++ wuaw it's been such a long timee... can barely recall

One thing that people don't know about
you?
++ that i vent my anger through blog i suppose

The last person you stared at?
++ the boyfriend

Number of layers on your bed?
++ 1

Is anything alive in your room?
++ no. i want a hammie though. syrian hammie *hugs* ARGH it reminds me of my dream last night. i brought home several hammies but then as i dug out the bedding i found out like another 20 hammies were living underneath. maahahahha

Today, would you rather go back 2
weeks or go forward 2 weeks?
++ go forward lah baby. holiday liao.

What was the last book you bought?
++ no time for that my dear

What is your current goal to achieve?
++ finish all my stuffs before weekend? huhuhhu...

How is your hair right now?
++ slimey? HAHAHAHAHAA

What is your current worry?
++ animation!

Do you have plans for next break?
++ yes a lot!

Do you prefer to sleep or talk to a
friend or send notes when it gets
boring in class?
++ send notes haha

Do you wave hi with a smile or a
serious face?
++ smile dong duh

One thing that you like about your
house?
++ it's spacious.

Chocolate ice cream or chocolate bar?
++ bar!!!!!!!

Last song you heard?
++ atashi sakuranbooooooo

The latest news you've received?
++digi offered 50% bonus for every reload 3 days pre and post my birthday. huhui! sayang lagi tak ade duit.

Trash.

2007-04-25T06:12:00.000-07:00

Alone I am inside this home. A home? Am i supposed to call it home? I guess I've never been able to call anywhere a 'home' beside my own home back in Indonesia. First prime reason being is I'm not living in a home bought by my dad or my husband (in case I have a husband already) or myself. I pay to rent for this house and if I get anything damaged, I'll be charged. Do u get charged in your home? No. So.

Second reason being, I don't feel safe whenever I come to this home. I mean I don't always feel safe and secured. Sometimes there are fear. Sometimes there are hatred. Sometimes there are just the feeling of I-want-to-go-anywhere-I-just-don't-want-to-stay-here. Have my reasons supported my opinion?

---

Friends. I have loads. But there are only 3 that I can really count on. Man, it can be counted with not even more than the fingers on my hand! But I am not ashamed. I have them through my ups and downs and being with them is just like sleeping on my childhood pillow that I've brought since I was born. They know me even before I start to talk. They can jumble up thoughts for me and make me feel fine in the end. I don't need anything but only them when I'm in trouble. But I'm far from any of them in the case of distance (well, not exactly for one presently, but will be in the count of 2 months). Distance doesn't kill though. We make full use of the SMS technology (we don't call each other or we'll cry over the phone and ruin the phone) and also the MSN technology. Oh thanks founders! Of course it has not always been a smooth friendship between they and me, but somewhere along the way we patched up and befriended.

---

I often wonder what my turning point actually is when I lose my direction. Is it you? Is it they? Is it 'they'? Is it us? Is it it? Is it there? Is it who? Is it ______?

I don't know. Humans are unpredictable. Life itself is unpredictable. And the most ironic fact is, the person you love the most holds the best position to hurt you. I never believed in selfishness, hatred, anger, revenge, coldness. I thought they were just words that carried negative meanings until I felt it myself. For few months I was drop, buried myself into the pillow, locked myself in the loo and cried for no reason for 1 hour+.

Now I think I really should let go all those negative yins once and for all or I'll not be able to live anymore.

Live, in the sense of living a life to the max.

"The Game"

2007-04-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

am i too young or am i too old for your game?
one moment i'm over cloud nine, one moment i'm drown, trashed, buried underneath the trash.
if i were the dollar chart, yes, i fit here. i fit how the fluctuation flows.
but i am not. i am a breathing creature with my own feeling and fears.

am i supposed to call it "ENOUGH" till here and move on with my life?

p.s.: ... because i'm so tired living like this. i am so so very tired. i'm feared.

beyond.

2007-04-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

Revenge?

It's cold.
Almost a year it's been.
I'm freezing and if I didn't stop, my ice would grow thicker and kill my vein inside.
It's time to say enough.

ga pentinggggg

2007-04-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

I just suddenly feel so urged to blog. HAHA.
The clock is showing 3.12 am, and i'm not-so-awake anymore but i still feel obliged to finish my 1st part of the animation (i have like another 4 parts to go to... 1000 frames to go to O+O) sighs sighs sighs. I still have essay and the questionnaires to be analyzed. I still have TVC storyboard and reart-directed ad.. aih.. all are halfways. i'm thankful that they're halfway though =.= indonesian typical mindset, always bersyukur kalo ada ini dan itu walopun lagi diterpa musibah. MAHAHAHA. bego.

So glad that mom is coming along with my bro and sis by the end of may. She promised me an iPod already! XD Not that I'm happy because I'll get an iPod, I'm happy because finally I can ask something from my parents again. I've been a good girl for almost three years. I've not asked anything from them, except replacement for my lost laptop. -.-" But really. :) I used to be a pirate when I was in High School. I asked for scanner, new PC, webcam, digicam, hi-tech cellphone, this and that within two-year time. I was really bad. As I grow I realize that I'm not supposed to ask those from my parents anymore although I've not been able to earn money on my own because I realize that they still have many burdens on their own and I'm actually quite mature already that I don't necessarily need all those gadgets yet. But anyway, thanks ma pa :)

I went to Alamanda with the boyfriend, Budi, and Lim. Ate at Johnny's and spent quite a lot X_X

Hmm.. My mood is so over the sky hihihihii.. I don't know. I feel easy. I feel light. I feel like feather. I feel pure. I feel sincere. I feel all the nice feelings in this world. But one thing for sure I feel so loved.

And hungry.

Hiakakakakak..

Posting paling ga penting!!!!!!

hi... non-hiatus anymore ^o^

2007-04-20T23:55:00.000-07:00

90. First off, what is your name?
duh.

89. What did you do last night?
went to low yat and pudu plaza.

88. Do you have a same sex best friend
that you can talk to 24/7?
yesss!

87. Do you have any siblings?
yep

86. Where are you exactly?
inside the bedroom in front of the screen

85. Favorite color(s)?
pink. duh!

84. What does the 7th message in your
[cell] text inbox say?
sorry the cell is quite far away at the mo

83. Who sits beside you in math?
those people on whom i can rely on my marks. MWAHAHAHA

82. Who sits to the left of you in
english?
lots!!!! fuck. now it's me who's victimized.

81. Where is your dad right now?
in front of the screen at the office. he's online so i can check nyaha

80. Do you have any kids?
no

79. Who is the 5th person you got a
missed call from?
like it's so important to know ya?

78. Closest black object?
the mouse cable

77. Closest silver object?
kit kat box

76. Have you ever jumped a fence for
any reason?
no i'm a proper woman. :P

75. Do you sing in the shower?
i do

74. Do you own any pets?
yesssss

72. Last time you listened to country
music?
wuah can barely remember

70. If you could kill someone, who
would it be?
myself

69. What are your fears?
myself

68. What do you hear right now?
the mouse scroll

67. How many drugs are in ur system
right now?
none

65. What are you wearing?
big t shirt and hot pants huuuuu

64. Who was the last person to give
testimonial to you?
i can't check testimonial or comment anymore. but the latest one is adrian.

63. Do you sing?
on my own, yeah

62. Screamo or Country?
screamo?

61. Rock or Rap?
rock

60. Chocolate or vanilla?
choconila? HHEHEHEH

59. Who did you last call?
the lecturer

58. Who last called you?
sil

57. What jewelry do you wear daily?
fake teeth. hehehehe no. i don't know. nothing i suppose

56. What are you doing now?
waiting to shit

55. Who was the last person you said I
love you to?
he knows who he is

54. Would you die for someone?
perhaps yes

53. If so, who?
those that i love

52. Are you cold right now?
nope

51. What do you smell right now?
nothing in particular

50. Do you have to pee right now?
no. why?

49. What did you dream about last
night?
the boyfriend asked me to look after his precious painting. then i said okay. when i went out from the toilet, i found out that there's no painting anywhere. i went up all over the places to search for it. at last i found the boyfriend in the middle of the holy mass, and i told him everything. i confessed i lost it. then he said that the painting was actually not yet produced. i was like 21348712048237 409824

48. What are you doing tomorrow?
apa lagi. esainmen dong.

44. Bedsheet color?
redddddd

42. Carpet or wood in your room?
carpet

41. Bad rumor about yourself that
you've heard?
that i'm a boyfriend-stealer? hahahahahahaha

38. Can you do a cartwheel?
na

37.What's your favorite candle scent?
vanila will do :)

35. America or Canada?
america

34. What makes you mad?
people with super-corrupted personalities; (kiasu, selfish, i'm better than thou, etc. etc.)

33. What if you found out you were
adopted?
a bit shocked but i will try to settle with the fact while still trying to find out who my real parents are.

32. Jeans or Sweatpants?
sweatpants

29. Do you have socks on?
nah.

28. Do you own any big sunglasses?
no

27. Have you ever cried so hard you
puked?
no silly

23. Have you recently talked to an ex?
mmm yes

22. Person who posted this before you?
dian! ahahha

19. Favorite TV show?
ugly betty, house, the apprentice, fear factor, friends

18. Do you like 80s movies?
not really

16. Last two numbers in your cell phone
number?
16

15. What kinda music do you like?
classical and jazz and pop and rock and slow rock. omg everything!

14. Are you a crazy stalker?
sometimes i can be

13. Best country you've visited?
new zealand i think

12. Been to London?
no

10. Favorite subject at school?
english and chem =D

9. Been to college?
i am now

7. Favorite time of day?
sleeping time

6. Ever kissed someones cheek?
of course

5. Watch all Spiderman movies?
yes

3. What are you looking forward to?
my best friend's visit

2. Ever gotten lost in the dark?
yes

1. Do you snore/talk/walk in your
sleep?
i walked! BAHAHAHA

hiatus

2007-04-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

My heart feels heavy.

~on hiatus. till further notice~

failure.

2007-04-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

2 quotes struck me hard (got it from wilson de white's blog)

: "i failed, because i try"
: "regret will come to us when we do things halfway"

it kept on ringing in my head even when i made the chocolate-layered fried bread in the kitchen.
those are powerful.

Capek lah.

2007-04-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

LOVE.

What is love? I've grown up to witness love. Many different kinds. But I still don't know how to justify that. Do I need to? Or should I not to, anyway? I don't care. I still find myself in need to know the general line.

Different people, different way of thinking, different way of loving. That, I know.

But what if when so much anger and revenge is involved?
What if when so much jealousy and selfishness involved?
What if when affair and inappreciation involved?
What if when many unfulfilled promises involved?

If they all happened just once in awhile, I'll still accept. But what if when it happened on a regular basis? To love becomes to suffocate oneself. To sacrifice becomes like giving away free gold. To cry becomes like committing suicide. To have that loved person in sight feels like he/she is the last thing we'll ever need in life.

Isn't that sad?

I live once.
I love once.
I make mistakes several times.
Forgiven once.
Forgiving? I don't know and I don't wanna know.

Sometimes, tired is the word that I really hate to have in mind but that's what I feel from the most bottom of my heart.

(wait, no, not all above are the author's personal experiences. haha. some spices were added.)

Photolab fun

2007-04-14T01:04:00.000-07:00

Photolab fun with the boyfriend (who's trying out the medium format camera), Silvia, and Ronald

weekend loh.

2007-04-13T10:46:00.000-07:00

I had great food this late night :D Aldy and then continued by AsCaf xD~ I'd been craving for their food eversince this semester starts, finally fulfilled. huhui.

I've not had any mood to start the homework. nyeeeeheheheheheh. what i have on the list:

- essay (fuck!)
- article analysis
- self analysis
- design a book for the essay
- reart direct
- analysis for reart direct
- brief for reart direct
- a famosa tvc
- 10 ad analysis
- rpt animation
- completing diary

just hopefully i survive yea until the next 3 weeks? after that.. these are what will be on my list:
- tour around KL with selvia (shopping, bridal shops yes yes someone's getting married! haha, eat, tour, eat, tour, eat, tour)
- have fun with silvia and the rest of the people for the last time! (SOBS)
- roadtrip with the boyfriend and his photographer friends hahaha..
- visit cres in singapore (hopeeeeefully!)
- go around KL with mom, sis, and bro. hopefully dad will come along as well
- find a job for moneyssake. heheheheheheehhehehe

i sound so happy aren't i?
yes i am. perhaps. probably. mungkin. maybe. hihihihihihihihi

anyway for the past few days i've been dreaming of the thing that i wished to have or fulfill in my real life. that sucks when i wake up just to find out that fuck it's only a dream and i'm nowhere closed to fulfilling it.

Flowers

2007-04-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

Flowers.

The spacing sucks. Happy reading.

2007-04-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

If you think I'm one uncontrollable creature, you are more than right.

I have weird way of thinking that can really make you raise one of your eyebrows.

I am forgiving, but once I forgive I also totally forget about it. I can even forget about who you are totally. It happened.

I am very suicidal in my thought, but thank God that I never actually dared to commit anything (yet).

I am spontaneous. I do what I like to do. I cry whenever I feel like crying. I laugh out loud whenever I feel like doing so. But no worries, I won't cause harm to anyone because I'll either cry myself in the ladies' or cry myself to sleep.

I am a very chinchai person, even when you're not like that to me. I think the world has enough chaos already that I don't need to fight over the smallest matter in this world, eventhough when I am right. I don't wanna get myself into children's troubles, just that's it.

I'm a quirkyalone, actually. I can't see a point yet why at some point in life people get married (and some even get divorced!) Okay, marriage legalizes you to have sex with your partners, legalizes you to use your wives/husbands to do the house chores, legalizes you to breastfeed a kid in the public, legalizes you to buy condom at 7-11, but think about it again. Without marriage, where's the sin of doing all those things actually? Why should only a marriage legalize all those things? I can't see a point yet.

I have a brain that can't stop singing, even when I'm quarreling with someone! Fuck! That's fucking irritating sometime. When I quarreled with someone, my mind could even sing "Whyyyy does the sunn go on shininggggg" How fucking beautiful. All thanks to my mom's heavy musical blood. Haha.

I have friends that come and go. I don't mind that because I don't think that I actually need so many in my life. I have several very goodfriends already. If I had many of them, I wouldn't have time to cherish all of them would I. And I'm thankful that everytime I fall, they're always there. Despite anything.

I believe in love. Love for me is both bliss and grief. Bliss is when knowing that person is loving you as the same amount as you do or even more than yours. Grief is knowing that person doesn't appreciate whatever things that you do for him/her. Even the smallest thing like always preparing hot chocolate for them. I guess the problem with most of the people is, whenever their partners do even just little mistakes, they tend to let the little mistakes overshadow all the good things that they'd done to them before. To me, that's just sad because you don't get people to love you all the time.

I like working. But I don't like working to be my life. Reasons to work are many; money, future, fame, family, loved ones, this and that, but rethink! If because of work, your loved ones suffer, it's pointless even if you buy them mansions. Everyone needs love and surprises.

I love family, but I don't rely much on them. In fact, I hate to rely on anyone for too much. We're all humans. At some point in life we'll disappoint those we love, at some point we'll also get disappointed by those we love. So. Not that I'm saying I'm restricting myself to fall my back on them, no. It's more like whenever I rely on them, I always prepare for the worst to come at the same time. That cuts down my relief a little bit, but that's alright. As I said, we're all humans, and we're all flawed.

I don't believe love stories in the movies/fairytales ever exist. Those are just imaginations.

Pretty girls and handsome hunks attract me. A lot. But only my eyes are attracted. It's hard for me to accept anyone in my life, eventhough you're rich or good-looking. Really, those don't buy me. (In fact, you could see some examples in my life, some really good people that I call friends in my life. Look at how they look like. No, I'm just kidding!) Beauty comes only from the heart. I feel sympathetic to those who fall for someone only for the $$ or for the outlooks. Even if he/she is rich, I think what matters most is whether he/she is giving when you're in need. Even if he/she is good-looking, I think what matters most is what that comes from the heart. Beauty is in the heart of the beholder (to me).

Money. Everyone loves money. Everyone's after it in life. That's alright, that's very humane, but never ever let money overrule your life. You say you won't but you will not know.

Never say never. Don't promise anyone anything.

I hate to live based on revenge. Love isn't love when there's revenge involved.

Life is to love and beloved, don't you think? And in this case I don't mean only by your partners. Love in this case is universal. Love your job. Love your friends. Love your environments. Love your food. Love your parents. Love your siblings. Love your money. Love everything. Wouldn't it be nice if the world were everyday valentine?

What goes around, comes around.

I love life, but sometime I can get really tired of it. There are times when I really feel like injecting myself euthanasia and never wake up. Never ever again. There are times when I feel like yuhu! Live life to the max! Plug the mp3 player on your ears, dance, run, jump during the springtime.

But that's life.

(Limsy's song recommendation kills me. I'm so immersed into them now. Haha)

Love?

2007-04-12T01:41:00.000-07:00

A beautiful one. Enjoy.

Love - Connie Thomas Lugo -

Love is so very special
Yet can make you feel so lost
It can arrive just like the springtime
And melt away like morning frost

You must find ways to nurture
Always grow your love with care
Never ever take for granted
The love that you both share

Mistakes are bound to happen
You may hurt each other’s heart
Yet don’t give up too easily
It will tear your love apart

Love resembles a bright flame
That lights a dark starry night
Never ever let this flame burn down
Rekindle with all your might

Take a moment every day
Look deep into each other’s eyes
Never hesitate to show affection
Small gestures will keep a love alive

Talk openly about your feelings
Take time to show that you care
Treasure each and every moment
Because to find true love is rare

Well I just typed it to keep it because I actually found this from my friend's posting on the bulletin board. Would really love to listen to the song. Anyone has it?

2007-04-11T01:46:00.000-07:00

(Image courtesy goes to Dian Polka Salsa, the illustration guru)

To describe how I feel about my life at the moment, the illustration has just done a very good job.

I often feel lost. Am I around the right persons? Am I in the correct surrounding? Am I living my life well? If I am, then why am I still feeling unsecured and unhappy? If I'm not, then what is right? Why can't I seem to improve my life, albeit everything I've done?

Give myself a break, I have. It's been a long long break.
Cry myself out loud, I have. That I don't have anything to cry over anymore.
Loud out loud, I have. And it's been enough.

Then what is it? Is it just me or what?

Maybe I just miss home. Maybe.

humans.

2007-04-10T23:18:00.000-07:00

i don't know why i still manage to stand.
is this what they call.. uh nevermind.
i'm always clearing up myself.
in fact i've grown tired of doing it always.
and i'll never be as clear as the crystal.
i don't know where to throw away my trash.
just because no one is barely there.

everyone moves and thinks himself as i'm-always-right.
get real, indeed that's what we look for in life ain't it, the so-called right thing.
everybody wants to be right.
everybody wants to live a right life.
but get even more real, not everytime you will always be right.
there are times when you will fall and do something to no avail.

but there are defenses in you (always, even subliminally) when you want to fight for something/someone.
you always think you're right because you really love that something/someone and you just want that to happen as perfect as the fairytale, without caring to whom you're fighting your defenses against, even your loved ones, sometime.
this thing saddens me a lot, because i really don't want the elderlies' thoughts to be proved correct, that humans nowadays, don't have that "humanity" in them anymore. they're too idealistic that they don't know with whom they're with anymore, just because they want their someone/something get done alright.

think about it again, how selfish it is? is it worth it that you do it?

but perhaps in the end it's really up to the people of how they want to think about it. everyone is different, hell how many times should i repeat that? everyone's raised with different backgrounds, and fuck you can't blame cultures. if you really want to blame, dig the ancestors' graves and shout at the top of your lungs about what you feel.

there's no black and white in life, but there are grays, of different value. and what you perceive as light will not always be perceived that way by others. all thanks to culture.

don't label yourself smart if you don't know how to treat yourself and your surroundings well. your phd, or your master, or your whatsoeversocalledexperiencesinlife won't buy me. those are just outlooks.

hehehehehe

2007-04-10T05:36:00.000-07:00

Life has been good. Report was submitted!!!!!! Allelujah! Stress is over. Mwahahahahahaha. Some might think that I'm overreacting about that project, but I truly am not overreacting. I was honestly stressed with most of the members. I prepared the presentation material until 5.30 in the morning, I was scolded for some improper parts of the slides, I did all the referencing, I asked someone to convert videos for me to be put in, I assisted someone in the group for the language problem that he has, I did the whole report, I went to print all the stuffs, I went to bind, I went to submit. Doesn't it sound like an individual project actually? But anyway it's over. I'll still love those people as humans (as janet used to say :P)

Helped the boyfriend to print out stuffs at MISO today. I was so lucky that the one who served me was the boss himself. He's very friendly, helpful and understanding. He helped us to cut out a lot of unnecessary costs. The only problem that they have is their outcome is not perfect enough. But, still can tahan. Then I went off to school to submit the friggin' report and then I went to wing's coffee to have some roti pita with silvia. We just sat and chitchatting until we went home! Kinda regret that I didn't manage to do anything haha. Going to payback tonight! Harus!

Anyway, honey, about what I said yesterday, I'm really touched that you said I'd eased your emptiness and helped you open your mind. But seriously, don't take them for granted cause I'm also just someone at your age who's still learning. What I shared with you was purely about my experience. And goodluck for the future! Me is always here whenever yu need moi. start blogging as what u promised! hahahahaha

Kat, amazing banget lu masih nyimpen foto2 sticker yang di fotobox itu! I almost forgot about that store's existence! I also used to go there with my friends and I had lots of them in my house at Medan, too bad that I was too shy to scan any of them hahahahaha.

this is very random, let me share with you my wishlists at the moment ;)
- waiting for sese to come on 14th may :D:D:D:D shoppppingggggggg... dan jalan2 hohoh
- iPod shuffle/iPod video
- macbook!!
- visiting jakarta again
- go back to medan for awhile
- singapore and redang and bangkok!
- makan di starhill (want to feel like billionaire too sometime!)
- roses! :)
- a new condo/house to live in. but still with the current housemates :D
- joined birthday bbq party with silvia! hahahhaah
- wanting my family to come over and take off to somewhere for vacation
- godiva
- start a business
- further my studies and expand my experiences in music
- the vincci shoeeeeeeeees! i've eyed on one pair mwhahaha
- watch mr. bean's holiday with the bf
- go to beach..
- roadtrip after the semester ends
- seeing canon grow up soon and get married and born puppies! hahahhaa
- a hammieeeee
- semester ends please ends!
- fulfillment to all of those! hahahahaha

not so ambitious ones yah? hahahaha. why do i like to type hahahahaha? ever wonder why? why? why? why?

Let's see how true it is!

2007-04-10T05:24:00.000-07:00

Hokay I'm just honestly curious to find out the truth about quizzes like this!!

Thiz Is The Test ...U have to answer
it honestly but don't look
down..ok...(remember ur Q1-Q10's
answer..juz write it somewhere ^^

[Q1] apa yg akan kamu lakukan kalau
kamu melihat dy menangis?
a. diem saaja
b. memeluknya (o)
c. tertwa
d. ikut menangis dan menghiburnya
e. memarahinya

[Q2] kalau dy menyuRuHMu mengerjakan
Tugasnya pa yg akan kamu lakukan?
a. mengerjakannya tanpa mengeluh (o)
b. Menasihatinya dan tidak
mengerjakannya
c. Memarahinya
d. DiAm saj...dan tidak mengerjakannya

[Q3] apa yg kmu katakan kepadanya
ketika dy sedang sedih krna
diputuzkan oleh orang yg dia cinTai?
a. EveRythINg wiLLbe jUst fine
b. diam saja
c. MengacuHkANnyA
d. berkata masih banyak cowo/cwe yg
mao ma dy (o)
e. mendatangi cowo/cewe yg
memutuzkannya tanpa sepengetahuan dy

[Q4] ktika kamu mengetahui dy
mencintai orang lain apa yg kamu
lakUkan?
a. melupakan dy
b. mengatai dy
c. merelakan dy dan tetap mencintainya (o)
d. memberitahu prsaanmu padanya
e. diam saja..

[Q5]kmana kamu akan mengajak dy bila
kamu akn pergi denganya?
a. mall
b. pantai
c. rumahmu
d. situasi/kondisi keuangan (o)
e. ke tempat yg dy mao

[Q6]saat kamu tahu ketika kamu jdan ma
orang yg kamu cintai tp kamu tahu
orang itu mencintai teman baekmu yg
kamu lakukan?
a. memutuzkannya (o)
b. diam saja
c. bertanya padanya mengapa
d. memberncinya
e. menangis di depannya

[Q7]ktika kamu ditembak oleh orang yg
kamu cintai tp kamu tahu dy tak
mencintaimu yg kamu lakukan?
a. menerimanya
b. menolaknya
c. menjauhi dy
d. tak memebri jwabn
e. berkata jgn membohongi diri sendiri (o)

[Q8]saat dy memintamu untuk
membantunya dgn teman baiknya ???
a. diam saja
b. menolaknya (o)
c. membantunya
d. memarahiny
e. memluknya dan berkata aq nmencntaimu

[Q9] benTUk cinta yg kamu LakuKan
adalah?
a. Perkataan romantiz
b. PenuLisan Sms yg baik serta puajan2
baginya
c. Tindakan dan bukan perkataan
d. mengepost banyak buletin yg
mengarah kepadanya
e. diam saja
f. tindakan dan perkataan (o)

[Q10]keadaan kamu dgn orang yg kamu
cintai?
a. buruk
b. membingungkan
c. baik2 saja (o)
d. tidak tahu
>>>>>>>>
Thiz is the point
dbdedceccd
[Q1]
a=10
b=4
c=2
d=6
e=8
[Q2]
a=2
b=10
c=6
d=4
[Q3]
a=8
b=4
c=2
d=2
e =10
[Q4]
a=4
b=2
c=10
d=8
e=6
[Q5]
a=2
b=4
c=8
d=6
e=10
[Q6]
a=10
b,c,d,e=2
[Q7]
a,c=2
b=10
d,e=4
[Q8]
a=6
b=4
c=10
d=4
e=4
[Q9]
a=2
b=2
c=10
d=4
e=8
f=8
[Q10]
a=2
b=6
c=10
d=6
And then if u finish
Count your scoRe and then repost it
with
For boys
I love her __% of my life
For girls
I love him __% of my life
If u rpost it u will get true love 1
dayz after ..but if u won't u will get
curse forever..

Hahaha the result is 60%! how surprisingly untrue!

the moment - kenny g

2007-04-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

this song really brought back a lot of sweet memories for me. one distinctive memory that i can recall right at the moment is the memory of me everytime i finished my piano lesson and walking to the shopping mall next to the learning center on my own. i did that on my own every week after i finished my lesson.

that mall, namanya menara-deli-sinar plaza. 3 malls combined into one, but it ain't that huge. setengahnya one-u doang.

everytime the instructor released me from the class, i would hold my superbig bag to the mall walking around without any direction. to cd shops, to eat, to supermarkets, to anywhere without any direction at all but somehow i enjoyed that very much until my mom finished working and came to pick me up. i could still feel the crowd that used to go around there. the smell. the noise. all the maps of the stores are still sitting quietly in my brain too. ah... how much i miss those times.

but it's changed a lot now because the contract of the malls is almost over. it's almost over 20 years and most of the shops have moved to a newer mall. oh btw, i used to grow up with that mall too. my mom's office used to be in there, but then it moved out to the next to it. jadi dulu juga sering banget main ke sana bareng nyokap :) i would persuade her with anything just to get her buy me something i want. remember polly pocket? there used to be a huge polly pocket exhibition too in the middle of the mall, and i did anything my dad asked me to do in order to get it. i still remember the price, Rp. 35,000 for a pencil case. i bought the violet color one. and everytime my dad drove pass that place, my breath would stop and my eyes wouldn't stop looking at it until it really disappeared from the corner of my eyes.

as i grew to be a teenager, i used to hang out there a lot both with my JHS and SHS friends. we always promised to meet "di depen texas yah, di depen pustaka obor!" itu udah pasti. i also used to eat there a lot with my family when my grandfather could still walk. we used to eat at asian delights. ikan salju, sup apel, tauco udang, uda pasti punya. sobs. i really miss all those moments.

mau turn back uda jelas kaga mungkin. seasons change everything.
at times like this, i really would love to live my life up to the max. i want to spend every moment i have with my loved ones. i want to laugh and take a lot of pics with them so that i won't regret anything in the future. now lemme recall some random memories.

makan bareng keluarga di asian delights.
makan bareng eve di tower cafe pas aku rehearsal, smntra temen2 lainnya makan di tempat lain haha
makan bareng ii di ngga tau resto apa namanya.
ditemenin ii main di small arcadenya dulu pas aku masih kecil banget
kalo mo nonton selalu hrus berjuang ngelawan para calo dulu dan harus suffer dulu dengan semua bau rokok yg bener2 pengap banget di ruang tunggunya
nemenin adekku main di timezonenya dan makan di fountain bareng.
milih2 vcd yg harganya noban2 bareng si maimo
duduk ngafe di MPS bareng sese, maimo ama eve.
milih2 kado di art decor.
makan sweet corn bareng adekku, itu favenya dia.
makan di nelayan pas aku baru balik dari KL bareng bokap n adek2.
beli sampo yang ada kepala mikimininya bareng nyokap.
makan texas yg enaknya bukan main sendirian.

hah... i really miss all those moments. thanks, kenny g!

easter

2007-04-08T05:53:00.000-07:00

Hey Happy Easter, everyone!
Woke up at 8 and straightaway got ready for church. The holy mass started at 9. Well we ran into several other friends at the roundabout and apparently they also wanted to go to the same church as us. So there we went together.

It's my first time being to that church (it's in Subang). Well, it's the best so far. Apart from having AC, the priest also speaks clearlier. Hehehe. All these whiles I always went to the church without knowing any single thing what the priest said. ;p

From there we went to Nusantara to eat. I don't like the food. The food tastes weird.

When I came back i sleeeeeeeept... too tired already after yesterday. Heh.

me wants to go for some groceryshopping. anyone? sobs.

songs

2007-04-08T03:27:00.000-07:00

1. Song from the last record bought:
gosh i can't even remember my last record bought all thanks to bittorent!!!!

2. Blues: not a necessarily a blues
record but a song that is labelled
'(something) blues':
Symphony Blues hehehehe

3. Song that gets you going in the morning :
It's A Wonderful World, it made me dance like Cinderella in the morning

4. Romantic song :
Loads for this.. but for now i think I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing is a perfect romantic song

5. Song discovered from a film :
The Blower's Daughter

6. Song from favourite band / artist :
"If I Ain't Got You"

7. Song from an artist/band that you
otherwise don’t like, but like this one :
"So Sick"

8. A Lullaby :
"Songs from Secret Garden"

9. Song without words:
Divertimento

10.Song that makes you laugh / you find
funny :
Oh where is my hairbrush?

11.Really good cover version :
ah i don't know

12.Song that reminds you of school days :
The Best I've Ever Had

13.Your "guilty pleasure" song :
Too Drunk Too Fuck

14.Funky song :
the song that Zailan Razak Project performed the other day

15.Song for those quiet rainy days :
I'll Melt With You

16.Feel good song :
This Is Not A Love Song

17.A song with the word ‘Look’ in the
title :
The Look of Love

18.From a member of the ‘Dead rockers
society’:
donnah

19.Song under 1 minute :
pelangi pelangi alangkah indahmuuuuu

20.Best song from your fav band's worst
album :
donnah

21.Song that makes you cry :
Goodbye My Lover

22.Any song - make it flow :
Yesterday

2007-04-07T23:48:00.000-07:00

kebahagiaan datang dan kesedihan pergi atas kemauan kita sendiri.
it's all about our standpoint in viewing something.

Riporte done!

2007-04-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

Quite relieved that my report is done. Finally! I've suffered enough to put up with all these shits. And hoping no more groupwork in the future. Or, please, God, give me qualified groupmembers who doesn't come late, who's not irresponsible to what he must do, who can communicate in human terms, who is helpful, who is understanding, who can be empathic towards each other! This is my first time being with such awful people.

Tomorrow morning i'm going to church for easter's day.

And when I come back I want to have a long sleep before doing my work again. I'm too tired and for the past few weeks, I've been too exhausted mentally (subtle way to mention stress) because of the groupwork. I just want to have something in equal amongst us all. Everyone also has something they have to take care of (visibly or invisibly).

I told my dad over MSN that i went to eat Ayam Penyet today, and this is his response:
"Jangan makan ayam penyet terus nanti muka kamu juga jadi penyet"
and i LOL-ed like hell xD i'm really hoping that the whole family will come by the end of this may. I'd really love to go to redang, or singpore, or bangkok for a short holiday. I need one. I desperately need one to clear out my brain.

Anyway. I just got hired by somebody today. Well, i was told not to mention what kind of job it is (again another secret job!) so i could only say that my job was pretty easy but a lot of works required to be done. Salary was okay but I'm not planning to use it. I'm going to save up! Future use! hehehe.

Alrighty. Eyes are heavy although mind is still on the go. Needa sleep. Cao cao amore!

Just to kill insomnia

2007-04-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

1. kamu mau gimana kalau cowok/cewek
kamu sayang,selalu ada buat kamu?
= ya bagus as long as he also owns a life

2. kamu mau gimana kalau udah bangun
pagi2 ternyata guru ga dateng?
= kesel sih, tapi look on the bright side, pergi ke library dan research lah di sana.. hohooho..

3.kamu mau gimana kalau potongan rambut
mu kependekan?
= maki2 dalem ati sebentar, tapi mikir, sebenernya bagus, hemat duit buat motong lagi in the future haha

4.kamu mau gimana kalau teman kamu
diam2 ajak cowok/cewek kamu kencan?
= cowo gue mau ga? kalo mau ya silakan aja sono. tapi janji jangan pernah nginjak balik ke dalam hidup gw lg hahahaa

5.kamu mau gimana kalau tengah malam
listrik mati dan kamar kamu gelap?
= ah abis mo gimana.. tidur ajah... ntar lagi listriknya juga nyala lagi

6.kamu mau gimana kalau ada
cowok/cewek lucu banget di coffee shop
ngajak kamu kenalan?
= kenalan doang kan.. say hi...

7.kamu mau gimana kalau tiba2
cowok/cewek kamu mutusin kamu tanpa
alasan?
= ya bagus kalo kegilaannya terbukti sekarang daripada ntah setelah kawin

8.kamu mau gimana kalau cowok/cewek
kamu buat komitmen kamu sama dia boleh
sama2 pacaran lagi?
= maksudnya apa sih?

9.kamu mau gimana kalau orang tua kamu
mengijinkan kamu tinggal sendiri?
= asoyyyyyyyyyyyyy

10.kamu mau gimana kalau kamu lagi
keramas tiba2 showernya mati?
= lari ke wastafel!

11.kamu mau gimana kalau kucing
peliharaan kamu mati?
= aku benci kucing! all cats MUST die hahahaha

12.kamu mau gimana kalau cowok/cewek
yang kamu sayang harus dirawat dirumah
sakit?
= sedih.. tapi pasti i'll take care of him

13.kamu mau gimana kalau suasana kamar
kamu jadi menyeramkan?
= puter lagu kenceng2 trus MSN in sapa aja yang ada di list. semua orang kalo bisa. menyibukkan diri. hahaha

14.kamu mau gimana kalau ada orang yang
terus2an liatin kamu?
= bilang "ape lo?!" - tipikal nyolot saya

15.kamu mau gimana kalau cowok/cewek
kamu menuhin kamar kamu sama red rose?
= *huggles!*

16.kamu mau gimana kalau kamu dimarahi
orangtua kamu tapi kamu tidak merasa
bersalah??
= i will contemplate first for sure

17.kamu mau gimana kalau sahabat kamu
mengkhianati kamu?
= shit happens. mau gimana.

18.kamu mau gimana kalau kamu punya
kembaran?
= ga mau ah. ribet.

19.kamu mau gimana kalau pacar kamu
seorang yang pengertian?
= mau gimana lagi ya pastinya bersukur sekale

20.kamu mau gimana kalau ternyata
cowok/cewek kamu sayang sama kamu
sampe mati?
= gimana gue bisa tau sih? dodol ah

weekend. yuhu.

2007-04-07T02:01:00.000-07:00

I set my alarm at 8 am this morning, planned to complete and submit my report, but ended up sleeping until 11 am instead xD

i'm quite happy today (well, so far, shit happens) i cleaned the backyard and the kitchen and washed the clothes and cooked and groomed canon and now i'm going to take canon to have his nails cut and his ears cleaned with the boyfriend. while we leave him there we will go groceryshopping at tesco.

what a kind simple weekend life :)

klcc.

2007-04-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

i was so freaking tired today.
after finishing class at 11.20, i rushed to go out to have some bread as my quick lunch and went to putrajaya to go to kelana jaya for the good friday celebration with the bf. man was it such a crowd that we had to sit outside the church. this is my first time joining a catholic easter holy mass. i don't remember if i ever joint a christian one though but for me this one is pretty unique. i had to kneel and stand like perhaps 20 times. tiring, but something to remember. it's about "jalan salib" (cross road? why does it sound so familiar now? :P)

from there i went to KLCC on my own. there's a jazz group performing for the petronas, zailan razak project. i was so amazed by their playing that i actually did stand still for more than half an hour beside the stage. you can count for how long i can stand still or sit still. i'm not that type of quiet person. i'm very pecicilan euheuheue. but that jazz group really caught my attention, especially the pianist and the 6-year-old percusionist, danial razak, i bet it's the son of zailan. damn i really want to go malaysian philharmonic orchestra and watch more musical stuffs like that.

didn't do much in KLCC because to be honest it isn't really my fave shopping center. but i still like to go there some time. my white dear slipper from vincci is going to spoil soon. hargh. time for another new one again. time to lose money again. i can't blame that pair of shoes though because they really look fragile, the sole is very thin and it's actually not meant to be worn everyday. hahaha. i'm eyeing on a shoe from vincci again, this time it's a shoe haaha.

my mood is ruined at the moment.
and i'm so tired of living like this.

have I lost my God? hey i have God although I don't have any specific belief.

"Every human is an individual" - Lim

2007-04-05T05:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday somebody got really angry with me. For me, that is just a normal problem that can happen anywhere anytime, but for that person apparently is a biggie. I at first couldn't believe it that it would turn out like that, some more knowing that that person is a really closed person to me and i was treated that way. I was very angry, very disappointed (because I think I disappointed that person very much), very sad (that I cried in the toilet twice, in the library once).

Then I sat down to re-digest everything because I believe that everything happens caused by a reason. Ever heard of the saying that everyone is different? Sounds simple and boring and like it or don't like it, it's true. It's fucking clearly true.

So perhaps if a thing for someone is important as "if i don't have it i'll go to hell", for someone else it could just be a thing as "okay. it's like not adding whip cream to my coffee that's all." Same as the using of words, if it sounds very rude to someone, it might not sound the same to the others. Because everyone is fucking different

This made me look back at all the friendships that I've ever made with people. I am bestfriends only to those who can appreciate an individual. I don't necessarily have to make friends with those A-list people, if what they can do is just comparing themselves to others and overjudging/underjudging somebody. We are all born same, what we have with us now is just a tag. We did something and we earned it.

Every human, be him a black or white, rich or poor, highly educated or poorly educated, obnoxious or obedient, ugly or handsome/pretty, etcetcetc, we are each an individual with our own + and -. Take a look at those around you. Stop your belief from fooling you that they are bad/negative persons. Go peace with yourself and accept everyone as who he is.

You might be more clever, more richer, more handsome/prettier, more educated, but never look down upon those people. Don't think that you can live alone in this world. Go get peace with yourself and the peace will be with you.

I'm writing my heart out. Any cliches, pardon me.

[edit] should i pull another all-nighter when i'm still not 100% recovered like this? my heart is turning cold. i don't know. part of growing up maybe? try not to think too much about all negative impacts while just trying to learn to concentrate on the positive ones and move on. because life moves on?

this is one quote that i really love the moment. taken from my friend, adlyn's blog.

“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break other's hearts. You'll blame a new love for things an old love did. You'll fight with your best friend, you'll cry because time is flying by, and you'll eventually lose somebody you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely and love like you've never been hurt, because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.”

2007-04-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

too tired to scream. shout. swear.
i'm even too tired to roll my tears.
too many bad emotions bottled up inside.
fuck insomnia.fuck.

and fuck for today.
hope by typing fuck enough can release myself a bit.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

don't ask me what happen because i don't even have a fucking logical explanation.

insomnia.

2007-04-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

The antibiotic that the doctor prescribed for me left me with insomnia the whole night last night >O i was struggling so badly in bed. usually i was a tuti (tukang tidur) but for last night i was a satpam. aiyah.

anyway i cooked black pepper beef today. heheehheeheheheh. i was quite patient in slicing the beef into thin pieces. and glad that the boyfriend liked it :P after i had my lunch i rushed off to school to return his books to the library and went for tutorial and went for some research. reached home at 9 something with lim and ate la tumis. after that i went for some grocery shopping in the minimarkets. bought dettol disinfectant spray and cooking oil and oreo and instant noodles and brush. i feel like cleaning my whole house tomorrow. it's more like sanitizing actually haha.

my blog is so boring cause i never display any picture mwahahah i realize that but still i can't find my mood to take a pic and post it. =p i'm waiting for the boyfriend to start to blog. he's got the address already. ayo lah. blog lah. monyet. hehehehe

i'm honestly very very very very physically tired but i don't think i can sleep. my brain still wants to work. hais.

Feverrrrrrrrish fever

2007-04-02T01:42:00.000-07:00

I had a terrible fever last night. When the boyfriend went to jeen's house to see her new little puppy, my body was shivering like mad inside the bedroom. I wanted to call him home but I didn't wanna spoil his moment with benji the puppy. When he came back , I was already covered by the blanket all over my body. My body was sooooo warm. In the next 2 hours, I felt like my body was on fire! Now suddenly everything became so awfully hot. I was a bit panicked because I'd never felt that way before. Lastly, he MSN Lim and got the medicine from him. Yeah.. a Sabah-an medicine.. with SL initial on it (Selvia Leonard, shut up!) Like an ecstasy yeah? hahahaha but it helped a lot.

When I woke up this morning I was feeling all better already. Thanks yang, uda lari ke sana ke mari beliin makanan, masakin dinner, nyariin obat, dijagain.. Love you..

He wanted to wait for me to go to school together because I should have a check up to the college clinic but i insisted him to go to class first. I joined the class later for the 2nd session of the workshop. Suddenly I felt my body was aching, so I rushed off to the clinic. Apparently it's some infection from the boil in my thigh. Sheesh.

Now my body is still aching. Damn.

I was about to cook some dinner for the boyfriend as a dinner at 95. But just as I was almost done with marinating, Canon came and licked all the beef. I was terribly angry at himmmmm!!!!

Anyway, I just found out that this weekend would be Easter Day. I know it has nothing to do with me because I'm neither Christian/Catholic, but I still feel like accompanying the boyfriend to go to church. Too bad that I have class this Sunday, though. Maybe we'll join the evening holy mass.

Alrighty. Nothing else, I suppose?

ttyl

Fever.

2007-04-01T00:20:00.000-07:00

I've been suffering from fever since 2-3 days ago. Last night I felt the most terrible. At midnight i don't know exactly what time, the boyfriend just came into the room holding a bowl of cold water and a folded t-shirt. "Yuk, compress yah? Badan kamu panas banget.." I was so touched... Really I was so touched...

I let him do all the compression and secretly felt grateful in my heart that I still had him by my side. Yeah 10 months have given us a lot of time to make mistake and grow. I can see some changes from him already. I'm so grateful for that! Later after that, i felt some tears rolling from his eyes. I asked why and he said he felt too blissful to have me who took care of him always. I was again very touchedddddd... aaahhhh....... And finally he said something which really cheered me up "Let's go out tomorrow if you're back healthy, okay?" I know although I wouldn't be able to, somehow I felt so happy by his will :) Too bad yeah I felt even worse this morning. Damn fever. When he called to Subang Jaya Medical Center to check, they're not open today -_-"

He.. I don't know. Someone who I've known like the back of my hand and someone who I've not known at all. He is the first person who can feel my whole heart. Before this I was too scared to give my whole heart to all of my ex-es. I don't know with him although I don't really feel secured, but I just know that I should let go of all my feeling for him.

I wish you would read this someday, yang. L u... thanks for taking care of me for the whole night last night :)

bulbos

2007-03-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

80 Things You Might Not Know About Me
(OR CARE ABOUT)

> Whats your middle name?
dont have any

> How big is your bed?
single

> What are you listening to right now?
ti amero - il divo

> What are the last 2 digits in your
cellphone number?
16

> What was the last thing you ate?
coconut pie

> Last person you hugged?
him

> How is the weather right now?
i dont know i've been tangling myself inside the room for the past 9 hours. damn fever.

> Who was the last person you talked to
on the phone?
him

> What is the first thing u notice in
the opposite sex?
their faces definitely

> Favorite type of Food.
any kinds, really.

> Do you want children?
perhaps when i've married that mr. right

> do you drink?
nah

> Ever get so drunk you don't remember
the entire night?
never.

> hair colour?
jet black.

> Eye colour?
brown.

> Do you wear contacts/glasses?
contacts

> Favorite holiday?
new year 31-1

> Favorite Season?
feast season haha

> Have you ever cried over a girl/boy?
yes

> Last Movie you Watched?
the holiday (it's halfway through)

> What books are you reading?
i don't know but it's about realizing the potential

> Piercings?
2 used to have 4 ;)

> Favorite Movie?
whoa. jurassic park is all that comes to mind at the moment

> Favorite football Team?
i don't know! used to lurve MU and liverpool loads.

> What were you doing before filling
this out?
checking my friendster's profile

> Any pets?
a golden retriever named canon.

> Dogs or cat?
dogs definitely. cats must die.

> Favorite Flower?
edelweiss and rose

> Have you ever loved someone?
i am.

> Who would you like to see right now?
family back in indo and some good friends =) ahhhhhh miss them soooo much.

> Have you ever fired a gun?
never.

> Do you like to travel by plane?
not really. prefer to be on a train!

> Right-handed or Left-handed?
right when it comes to writing. left when it comes to cleaning my butt.

> If you could go to any place right
now where would you go?
europe.

> Are you missing someone?
kind of.

> Do you have a tattoo?
nah

> Do you still watch cartoons on
Saturday mornings?
i wish i had a proper TV

> Are you hiding something from
someone?
i guess no.

> ARE YOU 18?
3 years ago i was

> WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR PC?
the standard windows wallpaper

> DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
almost

> FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS
MORNING?
shit i haven't touched anything on the essay

> GRILLED OR FRIED?
grilled definitely

> WHAT MAkES u uniQue??
the way i speak. well, maybe.

> ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
i am

> FAVORITE HANGOUT?
right now i'd really love to go to bintang walk.

> 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
music. handphone. the bf.

> FAVORITE SONG?
dentro un altro si - il divo

> WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
my own self.

> ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
a lil bit of both

> WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
jinet. hinek. yang. jenet. janet. ming. jen. net. netek. (fuck for the last one! haha)

> LAST PERSON WHO CALLED YOU?
the bf

> STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD
TAKE ONE THING?
only thing? then it'll be.. er.. iPOd? hahha fuck

> WHO'S YOUR CELL PHONE PROVIDER?
digi.

> FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE?
thing? then it'll be.. er... my er... i don't know! passportcellphonepurselaptopdigicam. hahahah

> Whats your favorite color?
pink hahaha

> WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS TAKE
WITH YOU?
cellphone, purse, keys

> WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE
A KID?
doctor

> WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE
CLOCK TURNS 11:11?
trying to tell someone to look at the clock

> WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT BEFORE YOU
GO TO BED?
how lucky that i'm still alive. seriously.

long rant ahead.

2007-03-28T23:23:00.000-07:00

Man I've got loads to say. How should I start? Oh okay, lesstart with the most exciting one. :P

So yesterday is the appreciation night. At around 5.30 stanley and vic came and they drove us to the office. Luckily both cars didn't really depend much on my map-reading because you know who I am when it comes to that. I made my boyfriend lost all the time while we're in bandung :P But anyway, as we arrived there, we first got to get the visitor pass to get in. It's really such a coincidence that the five of us all wore black and white outfits! haha.

We're guided to tour around the whole wisma. It's such a hella huge building. The boss said the office in indonesia was even 4x bigger than that o.O after that we're taken to the cafeteria to enjoy the snack they'd prepared for us. Man was all the food sooooo delicioussss... Then the CEO came along and we sat to have a chat with him. They're all really nice people. I wish I can have bosses like them someday. hahaha. Next was the awarding session. Yes yes... =) When we're otw home, we all checked what we'd got, and.. tara! a paycheck and several packs of the product mwahahaha.. so happy.

Yeah I think it really did pay off after all we'd done.. wish can have this kinda project again later in the future. and work with the same as fun people =) thanks client, thanks janet, thanks to the 7 of you for this wonderful short journey =)

moving on, i had art direction class today but i really had to get off after the morning session class because i've been having this terrible headache and cold and sore throat and some sort of scar on my thigh i don't know how i'm supposed to call it cause i don't know what it exactly is. a boil? oh i'm not sure myself. when i wanted to catch the bus home, i was left by the fuckingidiotbespactacled driver! man he's really such an ass! eventhough the bus was not full, he would really just leave the passengers. he's really hooked on to rules, i ssuppose. everyone's been swearing on him too. fuck.

eh you know. lately i've been hearing people saying the same things to me. last week, i was asked by 2 persons whether i had anything against my boyfriend's ex. mwahahaha. they're not closely related to each other and the questions popped up just like that. i answered no because i really didn't. i mean, why should i have one though? yes they did share wonderful journey for quite few years, but they don't live based on memories, yea? i also had my own journey in the past with my ex, but that's it, now that when i recall about that, my feeling has come to none. because it's really over when i said over. no string attached anymore.

and then this week, i've been told by two other different people about how fake i can be at times. fake not in the sense of hypocriting, but, fake to myself. i'm so unexpressive. oh yeah, and when it comes to unexpressive, there are actually 3 persons who said that to me within this week -.- i'm the type of people who tend to keep the bad side of things to self rather than pouring everything to others. yeah i am that type of person. why? because i don't want to ruin people's mood with my bad rantings. i believe negativity and positivity are very contagious.

by the time you smile from the bottom of your heart, the ones who see it will immediately feel it. and by the time you shout at someone or something from the bottom of your heart, the ones who see it can feel bad about it as well.

alrighty. my body isn't compromising anymore. need to catch some naps. ttyl.

Recapping Time!

2007-03-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

Last Sat & Sun, I was struggling my fucking ass off for the Monday presentation. I literally felt like banging my head on the wall by that time. >_< but anyway it's over. The presentation is over! And it was just okay.

I felt asleep like a dead pig after that xD

And while for tuesday, yesterday, i did my ang lee presentation and it was pretty good actually ;) and then i had my english class at 95 in the evening. janet invited a "proper" english grammar teacher. her name is audrey. well i got few learnings there ;) from there on i went home and feeling rather relaxed.

for today, wednesday,
i have no tutorial
i have no assignment
i'll be attending the appreciation night in the client's office. woohoo am so excited. wilson and i had been discussing of what gifts they're gonna give us. haha silly us. i was kinda hoping that all the team members would come but when i read the forward letter janet sent me, there would be like only 6 people available. too bad!

i just told my mom about the client thingies when i was otw home last night. she was very happy to hear about my success =) at times like this, i really do miss home. it's been a really long time since i made them proud and happy. anyway, my mom is having hard time to persuade my bro to continue his study here. he persists to stay in medan. i know why because he's got a girlfriend there. ah silly boy. silly puppy love!

i'm feeling so ... breezy right now. =)
ah yes.. yesterday is also our 10-month anniv. throughout the 10 wonderful months together, i've really started to appreciate love and him more and more.

love you, yang.

Good morning!

2007-03-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was quite a busy day. I had my workshop, it was a totalfucking mess in the morning but the feedbacks were all great. However, I'm not that satisfied. I don't know why. It seems like I am numb when it comes to result thing, particularly result that starts with a bad start. I don't know, this is just my syndrome since I was in highschool. Don't mess with me in the morning, it will last me for the entire day or entire week. Seriously. Dargh!

After the workshop, we went to Malacca because Antonina wanted to do some research there. Did we have fun? NOOOOO... it was really such a tiring day! And I didn't get to eat at my fave restaurant there. Daaaamn. It's funny that for yesterday, I still am not able to see the positive side of it!

Anyway. Today, my to-do-list will go like this:
1. Type out the raw presentation material - 12 pm deadline
2. Lunch and whatnots - 2 pm (hah yeah! Malaysian typical lunchtime! But no worries for me it aint just lunchtime. I will either bathe my pooch or do my laundry later)
3. Self analysis - 3.30pm deadline
4. Some movies? The holiday! Huhuhuhauaahuaha.. - 6 pm
5. Type out some of the reports - 8 pm
6. Have a lil bit of fun and we'll see if I will still continue working at night.

Ah yes. Have I told you that my laptop is back to normal now? Hehehe.. all thanks to the housemate! Man is he such a hi-tech guru! I suggested him to open a computer service line haha. I'm soooo addicted to gadgets! OMG! Yahoo! has a cool one, however i don't like how they arrange the size. It's totally messed up! Google has a so-so one, but I prefer them because they are very neat. Windows also has a new one! I can't wait to finish my presentation material and start searching mwaahahahhaha...

Malaysia-related talk aside, my brother is tossing around whether to go for Taylors College or Monash College together with my cousin. My cousin will most probably go for Monash, though, because she's planning to transfer to Monash's headquarter (Melbourne). But my bro? ahuahuaha.. Any suggestion, peeps?

I will feel really old when he comes here. nyihihihihi

AAAAAAA

2007-03-21T03:21:00.000-07:00

My laptop is broken againnnnnnn darrrrnnnnnnn..... and no one is at home currently.
But thank God when I text my housemate, he said he could probably help me to fix it tomorrow. Fuh! I'm just hoping he'll get back soon enough cause it's very urgent for me at the moment! Now I'm thinking of all the files I've just downloaded are all LOST! darrrrrn.

Anyway. Me is so sleepy at the moment. The sky has just finished crying. Hehehe. The breeze is still very cold. Well, this is Cyberjaya and this is what you could expect from here. When the sun is showing all his biceps and triceps, be prepared to feel like living in Sahara, but when miss sky is crying, be prepared to feel like living in the Arctics. Mwahahaha. What a joy.

This week is pretty easy to get by. Well yeah just hopefully it will go on like this till at least the end of this week. bleh.

I still have to finalize the stuffs for this coming workshop on friday. Well it's pretty relaxed actually so no biggies. Anyway I just read this article on Kompas that it said Stress could kill the cells in the brain. Omg aint that just scary. It can threaten our ability to think, learn and remember thing. Phoo! So guys, think about it again before you get stress. Find a way to unwind. Pretty please! Cause it's not merely an article, but I've seen quite a lot of proofs, including one that ever happened to me. lol. No, but it's true.

I wish to go somewhere this coming holiday. Just anywhere. Jakarta, Bali, Singapore, Redang, Bangkok. Those are the nearest which I can name. These are my true wishlist! Mwahahaha... Japan, India, New Zealand, US, Europe (I don't mind saving French for my honeymoon, though!), Hong Kong, and Vietnam. Yessss baby yesssssss.... preferably to visit those places with mon amour too. Nyehehehe.

I guess at some point I've started to realize and recognize who this person truly is. Well, just like me, I don't have all the positive sides he likes, and I don't have all the negative sides of me that he doesn't like. So probably, the lesson that I can share is just, it takes time to finally get to know what he really is and what he really is not. What people judge about him are all wrong. Wrong in the sense of, sometimes they overjudge him, and sometime they underjudge him too. I can say I'm the one who knows him better (I dare not say best though!) than everyone else. He's not what you see.

Sorry if it sounds a bit enigmatic though, but I just really can't help it. Btw, just few days ago, there's a stupid rumor going around about him. I swear if that rumor did spread around like mad, I wouldn't get a second thought anymore to go straight to that person and spank him in the face. I think I know who the person is. Just someone who's so jealous of his being and who shows it in the cheap way. The cheapest way if I might say so. Come on, get real, people, we are what, 21 years old this year and still act like a highschool-er? Fuck ass. Yes that's not a big problem I know but it's not the first time he spread rumor around. I think it's about time he gets his lesson.

Yes, bee, I think you're right, I'm too in love this time...

*sheepish*

Just another Sunday.

2007-03-18T02:48:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 11 today. Hehehehehe. Finally! A good quality sleep! :D
I was supposed to have a group discussion this morning but then the Internet connection was down so we replaced it to tomorrow.

Today's the day out with my pooch. If i didn't mistakenly read it last week, there was a dog show at Central Park yesterday and today, but as we arrived, there's like no happening at all there. Did I read it wrong? -_- So instead, we went to Pet Safari at Ikano. Everyone adored him. Hihihi. And he's been sucha good boy too lately. He can transfer a signal to me whenever he feels like doing 'business'. When i am in my room, he will just scratch on my door telling me to open the backyard door. So cute!

Hey finally I got to eat at Ayam Penyet Ria. Mwahahaha.. Puas sekaleee.. I ran into Cilpi, Juan, Iwan, Christy, Giovan, Hester and the rest of the church people there whom I've not met for sucha long time there! hihihi... The food is great. Love it. *stomach growls again*

I was tired otw home but thanks to my boyfriend he drove like he was on a race! -___-"

Oh man.. lotsa stuffs to do. And yet so little time left. At times like this, I'm really worried about what my future will be like. Sobs.

I had a bad day.

2007-03-16T05:26:00.000-07:00

The title says it all.

Today is not the first time it happens. It happened gazillion times before. But today is the first time that I actually exploded that huge in front of so many people.

Someone told me to just let go whatever I had inside. Just pour it out. So that I can breathe easily. Well I did pour out partly, I still have the other part remaining inside. I will spend that moment by myself tonight. I want to dig deeply. I want to get that answer of me myself. It's about time. I can't carry on living like this. I can't. Honestly I can't.

Literally I feel like going somewhere far. And I don't want to go back to my home for awhile. My home here, or my home there 'coz I feel alienated in both. I want to be a stranger for awhile. I want to search for what life really carries for me.

To somebody, thanks for the ice greentea + companionship for 5 hours straight. Really appreciate it! :) Sorry for dragging down so much of your assignment! I'm so so sorry! But, hey, really, thanks! *huggles*

Tears in Heaven

2007-03-15T03:58:00.000-07:00

Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?
Would you feel the same if I saw you in Heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven ......

Would you hold my hand if I saw you in Heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in Heaven?
I'll find my way, through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in Heaven .....

Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart, have you begging .... please ...

Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more tears in Heaven .......

Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?
Would you feel the same if I saw you in Heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven .......

This song reminds me of the time when I was still in the training. I often pestered on Kristina to play this song from her Black Joe Ipod Nano. Hehehe. This song also reminds me of my ex-English tutor. She once told me that this song carried a very deep message. I never bothered to notice that until last November when I started to 'analyze' the lyrics. And yes it is.

I call it a day.

2007-03-15T03:48:00.000-07:00

I'm quite relieved that today is over. I managed to get only a half an hour sleep last night all thanks to the copywriting class today!

So, yesterday. Did anyone notice that it's White Day yesterday? Hehe. Did anyone ever know that it's also the Pi day? Yes. as in the pi in a circle which equals to 3.14 (March.14) I dont know i just came across the daily-updated news in Yahoo and I found that. Very interesting.

Had a good chat with Eddie and Raymond this afro in the bus otw home. I felt so good to catch up a bit with my hometown fella. Hehe.

Sorry, I can't type much cause I'm currently listening to Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven. Antonina sent it to me last night. So sweet of him! That's one of my most fave song ever! Thanks, pal.

My eyes really can't tahan to stay anymore.

Yeaaaah.. new layout!

2007-03-13T05:20:00.000-07:00

The lecturer: "Where did you learn your English?"
Me: "Learnt it myself. From books, websites, etc."
The lecturer: "Oh, I thought you went to some international school before."

That ain't the first time I ever heard such thing. But, trust me, my English is good only when it's written. When I speak, hehehehe...

=.=" can make cold sweat wan!

can't wait.

2007-03-12T19:58:00.000-07:00

I so can't wait for this week to be over. A lot of submissions are due this week *frowns*

Anyway, my download of Secret Garden all album is finished last night yea yea yeaaaaa.. talk about saving RM 47 to buy the ultimate album! hahaha. My Happy Feet download is also done yesterday. Now I'm downloading The Holiday and The Beauty and The Geek.. hehehe.. kurang kerjaan memang.

Recently I often feel so fed up with my life. No excitement. No surprise. No nothing. It's just very mundane. Wake up, go to school, come back home, assignment, eat, sleep, such and such. Wishing something will happen by next month. Mon anniversaire! hihi.

haihs... not a good way to start a day yea.

secret garden.

2007-03-12T05:37:00.000-07:00

undergoing a difficult situation at the moment.
involves a lot of deep inhales and exhales.
*urut2 dada*

it's that hard feeling when you're supposed to cry but you can't cry.

maybe some secret garden will heal me.

LOVE.

2007-03-11T07:54:00.000-07:00

Cinta itu seperti kupu-
kupu..................!!!
Tambah dikejar,
Tambah lari. Tapi kalau dibiarkan
terbang, dia akan
Datang disaat kamu tidak
mengharapkannya. Cinta
Dapat membuatmu bahagia tapi sering
juga bikin
Sedih, tapi cinta baru berharga kalau
diberikan
Kepada seseorang yang menghargainya.
Jadi
Jangan terburu-buru Dan pilih yang
terbaik.

Cinta bukan bagaimana menjadi pasangan
Yang "sempurna" bagi seseorang. Tapi
bagaimana
Menemukan seseorang yang dapat
membantumu
Menjadi dirimu sendiri.

Jangan pernah bilang "I love you"
kalau kamu tidak
Perduli. Jangan pernah membicarakan
perasaan
Yang tidak pernah Ada. Jangan pernah
menyentuh
Hidup seseorang kalau hal itu akan
Menghancurkan hatinya. Jangan pernah
menatap
Matanya kalau semua yang kamu lakukan
hanya
Berbohong.

Hal paling kejam yang seseorang
lakukan kepada
Orang lain adalah membiarkannya jatuh
cinta,
Sementara kamu tidak betul2
mencintainya...

Cinta bukan "Ini salah kamu",
tapi "Ma'afkan aku".
Bukan "Kamu dimana sih?", tapi "Aku
disini".
Bukan "Gimana sih kamu?", tapi "Aku
ngerti kok".
Bukan "Coba kamu gak kayak gini",
tapi "Aku
Cinta kamu seperti kamu apa adanya".

Kompatibilitas yang paling benar bukan
diukur
Berdasarkan berapa lama kalian sudah
bersama
Maupun berapa sering kalian bersama,
tapi
Apakah selama kalian bersama, kalian
selalu
Saling mengisi satu sama lain Dan
saling membuat
Hidup yang berkualitas.

Kesedihan Dan kerinduan hanya terasa
selama
Yang kamu inginkan Dan menyayat
sedalam yang
Kamu ijinkan. Yang berat bukan
bagaimana
Caranya menanggulangi kesedihan Dan
kerinduan
Itu, tapi bagaimana belajar darinya.

Caranya jatuh cinta: jatuh tapi jangan
terhuyung-
Huyung, konsisten tapi jangan memaksa,
berbagi
Dan jangan bersikap tidak adil,
mengerti Dan
Cobalah untuk tidak banyak menuntut,
sedih tapi
Jangan pernah simpan kesedihan itu.

Memang sakit melihat orang yang kamu
cintai
Sedang berbahagia dengan orang lain
tapi lebih
Sakit lagi kalau orang yang kamu
cintai itu tidak
Berbahagia bersama kamu.

Cinta akan menyakitkan ketika kamu
berpisah
Dengan seseorang, lebih menyakitkan
apabila
Kamu dilupakan oleh kekasihMu, tapi
cinta akan
Lebih menyakitkan lagi apabila
seseorang yang
Kamu sayangi tidak tahu apa yang
sesungguhnya
Kamu rasakan.

Yang paling menyedihkan dalam hidup
adalah
Menemukan seseorang Dan jatuh cinta,
hanya
Untuk menemukan bahwa dia bukan untuk
kamu
Dan kamu sudah menghabiskan banyak
waktu
Untuk orang yang tidak pernah
menghargainya.
Kalau dia tidak "worth it" sekarang,
dia tidak akan
Pernah "worth it" setahun lagi ataupun
10 tahun
Lagi. Biarkan dia pergi...

Ketika kita menemukan seseorang yang
keunikannya
sejalan dengan kita, kita bergabung
dengannya
dan jatuh dalam suatu keanehan serupa
yang
dinamakan dengan CINTA.

Ada hal2 yang tidak ingin kita
lepaskan,
seseorang yang tidak ingin kita
tinggalkan.

CINTA yg sebenarnya adalah ketika
kamu
menitikkan air mata dan masih peduli
terhadapnya,bahkan ketika dia telah
pergi

sorry that it's not pasted properly cause i copied it from the bulletin board on friendster. somehow it rings true. so fucking irritating true.

just for the sake of dodging the assignments.

2007-03-09T14:41:00.000-08:00

Januari
>> the full-of-spirit kind of month.

*Februari
>> valentine's? more like a fucklentine though for me. no private issues, but it's just that.. dadadadidadaa.. :P

*Maret
>> one month away from my bday xD

*April
>> happy birthday to moi..

*Mei
>> the bf's birthday + anniversary.

*Juni
>> holi day. lala

*Juli
>> school starts! new semester! :(

*Agustus
>> indonesia independence day, the sister's birthda

*September
>> boring month of the year.

*Oktober
>> dad's birthday

*November
>> sweetttt novemberrrrr...

*Desember
>> end of the year, time for new resolution

TERAKHIR
Pergi ke mana sama temen kamu?
>> erm uh... can't recall, really

Terima telepon dari sapa?
>> the bf

Denger lagu apa?
>> some jazz tune..

Minum apa?
>> aer pute

Terima sms dari siapa, isinay apa?
>> wilson - oi jinet, kelas inggris hari ini jam berapa?

Mikir apa?
>> mau boker kaga mateng2

Mimpiin siapa?
>> lufa

Olah raga kapan?
>> ages and ages ago xD

Beli kado buat siapa?
>> the bf

ke kampus kapan?
>> yesterday

Ketemu siapa aja?
>> semua classmates lah

Baca buku apa?
>> christmas holiday

CAMPURAN
Permainan karton favorit (contohnya:
catur, ular tangga, monopoly, dsb)?
>> cluedo

Perasaan paling engga enak di dunia?
>> laper dan ga ada duit

Apa yang kamu pikirkan ketika kamu
bangun tidur di pagi hari?
>> mau tutorial jam berapa yak. kelar kaga yak tugas gue.

Tempat Fast Food favorit?
>> domino's

Tontonan olah raga favorit?
>> loncat indah.. *beautiful jump* hehe ato kalo ngga gymnastic

Ada gak orang baru di hidup loe?
>> banyak ^^

Orang baru yang berkesan buat loe?
>> all those peeps in my KICK project

Apa yg buat lo takut akhir2 ni? knapa?
>> somebodeh... some private issues

Sekarang lo lagi denger lagu apa?
>> nothing.