changed?

A good friend told me that I'd changed lately. I'd become more agressive in life and in speaking. Not that it was a complaint or whatsoever, though. Just a feedback. Okay, now I'd like to analyze why, because me as the one who'd changed, of course wouldn't realize that until someone closed pointed it out for me. Thanks buddy. Now I'd like to analyze about it.

Maybe it's an influence from working atmosphere as well as my bf. To me, those two sources are such good influences for me to support my growth though. My bosses are such positive people who are already so successful in life (not in terms of financial only, but also as a human being). So is my bf (I don't need to explain, do I?). And I'm just following the method that they used before. Get my intention clear, and go fight for it.

I'm tired of standing behind the stage to only see things happened. I decided that I didn't want that to happen again because I was tired of carrying all the burdens with me. I need to change. I must be happy. What other people say about me is only feedback, but what if other people start to step in my way while I'm cycling hard to achieve the mountain top? I decided that I wasn't going to let that happen again and again. It's a tiring cycle, really.

I just sort of changed though. To change is not easy. And when you say you want to change to yourself, you actually won't change. I only had the intention that I didn't want to be unhappy forever. And that's all that I held on to. Now I fought for what I believed in. I fought for myself to be happy. Definitely I couldn't just do it like clacking my fingers, I need to think if it's really correct to do so or not. I'm such a thinker sucker lately, especially when it comes to deciding things for myself. That's why in the end I could always come out with a rationalized piece of thought and fought with others with it. Not to sound boastful, I always won, because I fought with truth.

That's why some people are getting irritated with my mindset lately. What could I say except I don't care? Why should I bother those who always get in my way? That's when I think I become agressive. If I don't like anyone, I would show it, because I didn't have the power to put on mask and hide it. I didn't have the power to brush against those people's shoulders even only to say "Hi what's up?". Once I dislike someone, I would really just ignore that person. Is this a bad habit? Is this any worse than wearing a mask? I dont know somebody tell me. I'm open for feedback.

Lately I've been gaining a lot of shits. I've been hearing from a lot of sources that I trust. I was okay with it because I know to rise up above as a flag, there is a lot of wind that I have to fight with first. I don't effin care, just so you know. My bestfriends stood up for me though, they said that I didn't deserve all the things and I should fight hard and fight back all those people. Should I? I don't know, but I just raelly don't feel like doing so... Hahaha. Why should I mess with such people? Somebody?

Anw, today is not a good day. I encountered a bad bad issue. Not going to tell the details here :x